Check the items that describe your behavior!
- I can’t say no for fear of abandonment or rejection.
- I share too much personal information too soon.
- I take on other people’s feelings rather than just feeling empathy.
- I have a high tolerance for abuse and for being treated with disrespect.
- I believe “I must have deserved it” when treated badly.
- I do anything to avoid conflict.
- I have no ability to see flaws in others because I’m focused on being what I think other people want me to be.
- I have no sense of self.
- I am apt to say no if a request is going to involve close interaction.
- I have very strong defenses to protect myself from getting close to people: I may pick fights for instance or stay so busy I leave no time for one-on-one relationships.
- I avoid closeness because I fear either abandonment or engulfment. make little or no self-disclosure, perhaps preferring to draw the other person out but not sharing information about myself.
- I have an inability to identify my own wants, needs and feelings.
- I have very few close relationships, though I may have many acquaintances.
- I am willing to say no, to let others know when they are stepping on my toes; I am also willing to say yes.
- I have the ability to make requests and to seek alternatives when others must say no to me.
- I have a strong sense of identity and self-respect.
- I make appropriate self-disclosure; I reveal information about myself gradually and only as mutual sharing takes place and trust develops.
- I expect shared responsibility for relationships.
- I recognize when a problem is mine or another person’s: when it is not my problem, I don’t jump in to rescue the other person.
- I do not tolerate disrespect or abuse.
This is a great tool to use with a loved one to deepen your communication!