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The Lover Archetype

by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. Today we will explore the Lover. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Leonard Cohen’s song Lover, Lover, Lover, rings in my ears as I explore the Lover Archetype in this series on archetypes.

“May the spirit of this song, may it rise up pure and free. May it be a shield for you, a shield against the enemy,” Cohen purrs. Love, being in love, being a lover brings forth not only the purity, freedom, passion, but also the enemy within: the jealousy, possessiveness, control and codependency. These are the sun and the shadow sides of the Lover archetype.

We all have an aspect of the lover archetype within, but I imagine when you think of your friends and loved ones, someone who embodies this archetype comes to mind. Whether they are passionate about life, about their relationships, or have a great passion for music, art or gardening, you can identify them right away

If your creative energy is connected to the Lover archetype, you may find that you sacrifice much for your ideals. It may be that others think you don’t live in reality, or that your view of the world through the lens of your heart is not realistic. The lover may characterize you as genuine, happy and giving to others. The shadow side could manifest as obsessive, possessive and scary.

There is also something about the Lover archetype that draws us deep into a sense of suffering. Think about the suffering artist, the struggling musician, and the one who gave up everything for love.

As morose as it may seem, my favorite song, another of Cohen’s greats, is Joan of Arc. Cohen is a contemporary musician who clearly understands passion.

It was deep into his fiery heart
he took the dust of Joan of Arc,
and then she clearly understood
if he was fire, oh then she must be wood.
I saw her wince, I saw her cry,
I saw the glory in her eye.
Myself I long for love and light,
but must it come so cruel, and oh so bright?

It was Carl Gustav Jung, who was the father of analytical psychology who gave us the concepts of the archetypes, as well as the collective unconscious and the understanding of introversion and extroversion. He identified the shadow side of the archetype as the part that was relegated to the subconscious because, due to its negative qualities, it was not easily integrated into the personality. In psychoanalytic therapy and in dream work, it is important to access the shadow and bring it into the light so that it does not gain power and cause you to subconsciously behave in ways that can be self-defeating or damaging to others.

We know of many instances where the shadow side of love has been destructive. One example would be of Guinevere and Lancelot. Guinevere was married to King Arthur and had an affair with Sir Lancelot. Lancelot was a knight, one of King Arthur’s favorites. This indiscretion leads to the undoing of the Round Table.

What about one’s love for their country? This can also be an outpour of the Lover Archetype. With this strong passion, one can get caught up in an uprising that can end up in disaster or war. The obsessiveness of the shadow side of love can be all encompassing.

Some of our greatest discoveries have come from those who gave their lives to find a cure, understand a formula, and take a passionate stand. In today’s world, workaholism can show up as an expression of the lover archetype. Creativity abounds when you love what you do! The shadow side of this may be neglected relationships or declining health.

It is time to examine your own life and find what stokes your fire. For whom or what would you be willing to give up everything? Whether you actually do it or not, what do you love to do the most? When you look back over your life, where has passion been the driving force behind your choices? Who makes you angry? What would you fight for? Where do you find your bliss?

The Lover may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. As you reflect, take notes on other archetypes you identify. Think about how others see you. Is your career representative of one of your archetypes? For example a strong archetype for me is the Teacher. Interwoven in my life and career is being a Spiritual Teacher. It comes natural to me. What would you do with your time if you had unlimited resources and freedom. What is your natural path? What is your Divine Soul Purpose?

 

This article was originally published in Live Encounters Magazine.

https://energymedicinedna.com

Love Languages for the Holidays!

by @candesscampbell

All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.

 ― Gary Chapman

As we approach the holiday season, you may want to take some time to think about the best way to interact with your friends and family during this busy season.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Some people have a natural gift of gab and for buying the perfect gift. Not so for others.” quote=”Some people have a natural gift of gab and for buying the perfect gift. Not so for others.”]

As you plan activities and start your gift shopping, think about the love language of the your loved one.

Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages teaches us to understand what makes you feel loved and what makes your loved ones feel loved.

The five love languages are

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service and
  • Physical Touch

Have you ever had a friend who was continually is asking for validation?

Is there someone in your life who is always touching you as you walk by, rubbing your shoulders, cuddling when you watch a movie?

Does your daughter shop and buy herself gifts all the time? These may be a clue to her love language.

If your mother’s love language is quality time, getting her a gift certificate for massage would not excite her the way taking her to an off-Broadway play would.

If you have a friend whose love language is Acts of Service, making her a book of coupons for services such as babysitting or yard work may be more important to her than getting her a new scarf.

If your loved one’s first love language is physical touch, you may want to plan a quiet evening alone and give each other foot rubs with a sensual essential oil.

Take the online quiz Five Love Languages to find out your own love language. Engage with your family and find out their love language. Sit with a cup of tea and candlelight and share your score with your loved one and see what they found out about themselves.

My highest score is Acts of Service, although Quality Time and Physical Touch are close behind.  When I think of this I remember a boyfriend who built a fence around my yard and how loved I felt. More recently friends wrote reviews for my book and it was the greatest expression of love they could have given me.

I especially appreciate my friend David Sandoval, MD, an immunologist who wrote the review on the back of my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.

Pull back from the bombardment of sales over the holiday and deepen your experience through understanding Love Languages.

 

 

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The Damsel Archetype . . . Oh My!

by @candesscampbell

I was delighted to hear from some of my readers when I posted the last blog. They asked about the connection of emotions to illness. Although there is a vulnerability about sharing this story, it is how I have taught for many years. I tend to learn and then teach from my experience.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Can rejection of your Damsel create illness?” quote=”Listen to your Body and the stories you tell yourself!”]

I hope you find something helpful in this story and please share your thoughts.

 

https://youtu.be/RRGjTkqAVxw

Find out more here!

Being the Pole

by @candesscampbell

When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life 

Relationships are fluid and changing all the time. Learning to communicate is often challenging.  In this video I teach you to “Be the Pole.”  It is a great way to stay stable when you have a partner that is either reactive or continually changing their minds.  This is great for spouses, partners and even adolescents. It reduces stress and you can give up this pattern that tears at the fabric of your relationship.

 

[clickToTweet tweet=”Curious about past lives with a loved one! Schedule a psychic reading with Candess http://bit.ly/2hGeB1D” quote=”Curious about a past life with your loved one? Contact Dr. Campbell for a Psychic Reading! “]

Don’t Waste Time

by @candesscampbell

Keeping with communication, this week I’d like to share about Time. We communicate by what we say, but we also communicate by what we do. Earlier this week I was at Super Supplements and found myself behind a young man who was trying to purchase something. He struggled with figuring out what he could buy for the amount of money he had. He must have had a gift certificate or something. The cashier had partially ringed up his purchases and then he took off to find the perfect new purchase for the right price. As he wandered around the store, another person and I stood in line waiting.

I was in between clients and was running a quick errand and I was not happy with having to wait. The cashier said she couldn’t cancel the purchase and ring us up as he wandered. Finally another cashier came to open another register. I was burning up with Don’t Waste My Time.”

[clickToTweet tweet=”We communicate by what we say, but we also communicate by what we do.” quote=”We communicate by what we say, but we also communicate by what we do.”]

What I realized is I have been busier than I would have liked the last few years and I am like a mother bear protecting her cub around my time. Practicing Less is More prior to the book I am publishing by the same name helps.

Another book that was helpful is Sonia Choquette’s Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose. In the chapter Waste No Time she says if you “squander your time,” basically you hold yourself back and others too!

I loved that Choquette said, “Do not waste other people’s time either. It is emotionally indulgent and disrespectful to break agreements, send mixed messages, arrive late for appointment (or miss them altogether), or be unaccountable.”

[clickToTweet tweet=”Don’t waste the time of others! Be accountable. ” quote=”Do you tend to waste your time or other’s time?”]

It was twenty years ago I took the Landmark Forum and Advanced Forum. One gem I learned was how important it is to follow through when you Give your Word. It is about who you are and how others see you. You either gain respect and trust or you don’t.

Now, I am not saying I don’t mess up at times. Occasionally, for some odd reason a client appointment disappears from my calendar and I end up unprepared as someone shows up or I call a client because they missed an appointment and I hadn’t recorded they had cancelled.  When this happens, I grovel appropriately and do whatever I need to do to make it right with them.

My time is valuable and so is yours.

Thanks for taking your precious time to read this blog.

 

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Communication and ADD

by @candesscampbell

Have you ever listened to a friend and thought “Can she even hear herself?”  We all have patterns of communication and behavior that we exhibit to the world. Sometimes you don’t even recognize what you are saying or doing is in direct contradiction to what you believe. Often you will notice someone judging someone else for the very behavior they themselves have! I see this often on social media.

I remember one day my daughter said to me, “Mom, you’ve said that before, several times.” Many of you know when I was 14 years old I had an accident that resulted in a Near Death Experience with head injuries. As a result of this I have experienced some memory problems. Another result of this trauma was I lost my sense of smell, which also influences memory. A positive from the accident is a definite increase in my intuition. When my brain was injured, my intuitive self took over and now much of how I access information is intuitively.

Unless you continually challenge your brain, you can develop memory lapses. Since my daughter’s comment, I have been working on being aware and not repeating myself as often. Repeating can happen for reasons other than memory problems and brain injury. When one has a history of not being heard or have not being listened to by others, they can develop a pattern of repeating. Saying the same thing over and over again can also come from a lack of self-awareness.  It can also be an ineffective way of trying to heal an emotional wound.  You may say the same thing over and over but nothing changes. It would be more effective to change your behavior by accepting a situation or changing your relationship with the problem; forgiving, leaving, setting boundaries and such. Saying the same thing over and over can also be a sign of ADD.

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend, loved one or a co-worker who often repeated the same thing and didn’t focus. Someone with whom you tried to create a plan, but politely getting them to pay attention, listen and commit to a time was near impossible? Instead they just kept telling you all the situations that went on in their day and you were not able to set a meeting.

So, how to do you communicate with friends, loved ones and co-workers that are ADD or have ADD
symptoms?

[clickToTweet tweet=”What are ADD symptoms?” quote=”What are ADD symptoms?”]

Listed here are some of the Inattentive Symptoms of ADD; not the Hyperactive Symptoms. This may help you to identify why you’ve had some difficulty communicating with someone. It can clarify why you may have felt frustrated and hopefully will give you some helpful communication solutions for yourself.

Inattentive ADD Symptoms

  • Careless mistakes/lack of attention to details
  • Lack of sustained attention
  • Poor listener
  • Failure to follow through on tasks
  • Poor organization
  • Forgetful in daily activities
  • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained mental effort
  • Losing things
  • Easily distracted

[clickToTweet tweet=”Get tools to communicate with someone who has Inattentive ADD.” quote=”Get tools to communicate with someone who has Inattentive ADD.”]

Depending upon how close you are to this person, you may want to research more about ADD and continue to learn.
Here are some simple ideas that may help.

  • Use emails as your primary form of communication to set up meetings. This way you can scan the email quickly for the details about the meeting.
  • Start your conversation with, “I have one minute to plan this meeting.”
  • When the person becomes tangential, politely bring them back to topic. “Oh, I’m sorry, I
    have to go, when did you say you could meet?”
  • Give the person 3 clear choices of times.
  • Be willing to set a boundary.
  • If the person won’t be decisive, realize the meeting may not happen and move on.
  • Plan your communication with the person when you have enough time to go through the
    process to get the meeting planned.
  • Have a plan B for your time so if their disorganization creates a last minute cancelation, it
    won’t disrupt your life.

These are some ideas that may be helpful. Again, if this is someone you live with or a supervisor, I encourage you to find more information on this topic. One book you may be interested in What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don’t?   Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder by Michele Novotni, PhD   http://amzn.to/nxks8h

If you have another resource, please share with us!

Kyoto- If I can lift the rock my wish comes true!

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