All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.
As we approach the holiday season, you may want to take some time to think about the best way to interact with your friends and family during this busy season.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Some people have a natural gift of gab and for buying the perfect gift. Not so for others.” quote=”Some people have a natural gift of gab and for buying the perfect gift. Not so for others.”]
As you plan activities and start your gift shopping, think about the love language of the your loved one.
Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages teaches us to understand what makes you feel loved and what makes your loved ones feel loved.
The five love languages are
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Gifts
- Acts of Service and
- Physical Touch
Have you ever had a friend who was continually is asking for validation?
Is there someone in your life who is always touching you as you walk by, rubbing your shoulders, cuddling when you watch a movie?
Does your daughter shop and buy herself gifts all the time? These may be a clue to her love language.
If your mother’s love language is quality time, getting her a gift certificate for massage would not excite her the way taking her to an off-Broadway play would.
If you have a friend whose love language is Acts of Service, making her a book of coupons for services such as babysitting or yard work may be more important to her than getting her a new scarf.
If your loved one’s first love language is physical touch, you may want to plan a quiet evening alone and give each other foot rubs with a sensual essential oil.
Take the online quiz Five Love Languages to find out your own love language. Engage with your family and find out their love language. Sit with a cup of tea and candlelight and share your score with your loved one and see what they found out about themselves.
My highest score is Acts of Service, although Quality Time and Physical Touch are close behind. When I think of this I remember a boyfriend who built a fence around my yard and how loved I felt. More recently friends wrote reviews for my book and it was the greatest expression of love they could have given me.
I especially appreciate my friend David Sandoval, MD, an immunologist who wrote the review on the back of my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.
Pull back from the bombardment of sales over the holiday and deepen your experience through understanding Love Languages.
Oh yes please, Candess, let’s pull back from the bombardment of sales and consumerism this time of year. Wonderful advice. The love language quiz was fun. I had three top languages (all with the same score) – physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation. Hubby and I don’t buy each other Christmas gifts and sometimes not even birthday gifts as we consider time together travelling (which we do), the real gift. One of my closest friends and I have agreed to make something for each other this year instead of buying more stuff. When you take time out to make something for someone, you need to put a bit more thought into what it is they would like – their love language. Great article.
Tami, I am so happy you took the test and it revealed this to you. You already know how to care for yourself, your family and friends over the holiday. Fantastic!
I love the Love Languages. It’s amazing what a difference it makes to understand what “means” love to others and be able to adjust a little to satisfy their needs. It’s nice to be able to look at your own values too. Thanks.
I really love this Cathy. When we give our loved ones what they desire, we can see it on their face!
What a wonderful gift of the 5 languages of love. At this time of year, it’s easy to be consumed by finding the perfect gift. When any one of the gifts of love would be the most perfect gift. Thanks for sharing this beautiful insight for sharing ourselves with others, Candess.
Happy shopping Joyce. I imagine you are in tune with your friends and loved ones!