Manifesting and Resistance
“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Soon after I chose my word for 2014 – Relationships – came the resistance. I am beginning to think that resistance may be the shadow side to most of what I want to manifest.
When I teach manifesting, I have my students or clients think about and write down specifically what they want to manifest. As soon as they do this, I encourage them to then write down all the thoughts of why they can’t have this. Now, this may appear counter-productive, but the reality is, these thoughts are going to either surface consciously or subconsciously and it is better to challenge them outright.
So I’ll use my word – relationships. I have made a decision to focus on relationships this year. The thoughts that surface are these:I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people.
1. I will get hurt.
2. People will want more of me than I can give.
3. I’ll have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I’ll get exhausted.
Now, that I have identified the immediate concerns I have, I can challenge them.
1. I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people. – In this case, yes, I will do this. I have wanted to do this for a while and I can schedule my life with more play and less work and if I don’t resist this (stress and exhaustion) then I will really enjoy playing and being more present to friends and family.
2. I will get hurt. – Just because I am spending more time in my relationships and possibly allowing an intimate relationship, I don’t have to get hurt. I can move slowly, set necessary boundaries until I am confident and feel safe. I have a lot of skills and can use them in relationship. (You will notice that my resistance here appears to come from a need to feel safe.)
3. People will want more of me than I can give. – In this situation, the fear is not related to my friends and family, but more to other people. It will be necessary for me to be discerning of where I put my time and energy. It is not like a dam breaking. I can spend time with my friends and family without opening the floodgates to everyone. (overwhelm)
4. I will have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I will become exhausted. – In this case, becoming present is actually a way of being less exhausted. There will be people around me that I don’t have to be continually present with. I can be present with myself and focus my attention where I would like. I am in control. (exhaustion)
I hope this example demonstrates the fears that come right behind your decision to manifest. Now, you can be conscious of the fears and challenge them. The theme of this 30-day blog, is not just relationship to others, but relationship to yourself.
You are in control of your life, your choices and your future!
Relationships – Word for 2014
In the midst of the holidays which are full of fun, family and chaos; it is a good idea to take some quiet time. I know, it is so busy, there are gifts to buy and family to feed and . . .
The idea of the holiday takes over the Spirit of the holiday. What is the Spirit of the holiday for you? Take some time to determine this for yourself. Give voice to your beliefs, even though you may be the only one who is listening. What is obvious about this time of year is letting go of the old and bringing in the new. So what is it about 2013 you want to let go of? What is it from the first time you opened your eyes and awakened to this world until now that doesn’t support you any longer. What do you want to leave behind?
If you believe that what you focus upon increases, what is it that you want to focus on this New Year? Taking some quiet time, even 20 minutes to journal or meditate will make a big difference in your life. If you meditate be sure to jot down some thoughts afterward. Your Higher Self or Guides may share with you some important information.
Choosing a word a year words best for me. Rather than having a list I don’t complete, I like to focus on something I want to increase or bring sacredness to in order to thrive. Before 2014 begins, I image the end of 2014 and the changes I would like to see manifest and then begin the year afresh.
My word for this year is relationships. By the end of 2014 I will have deeper relationships and spend more quality time with those I love. I will understand their needs and how they receive love so that I can be present to them. I will study about relationship and understand commitment, community and connection in a way I have yet to experience.
The process of this of course will be to become aware of my resistance, my hesitation, my busy-ness and my fear. I am ready to develop a more conscious relationship with myself and move beyond the blocks.
Join with me in choosing a word for 2014 to bring in the New Year!
Watch for my blogs in the Ultimate Blog Challenge in January!