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Communication and ADD

by @candesscampbell

Have you ever listened to a friend and thought “Can she even hear herself?”  We all have patterns of communication and behavior that we exhibit to the world. Sometimes you don’t even recognize what you are saying or doing is in direct contradiction to what you believe. Often you will notice someone judging someone else for the very behavior they themselves have! I see this often on social media.

I remember one day my daughter said to me, “Mom, you’ve said that before, several times.” Many of you know when I was 14 years old I had an accident that resulted in a Near Death Experience with head injuries. As a result of this I have experienced some memory problems. Another result of this trauma was I lost my sense of smell, which also influences memory. A positive from the accident is a definite increase in my intuition. When my brain was injured, my intuitive self took over and now much of how I access information is intuitively.

Unless you continually challenge your brain, you can develop memory lapses. Since my daughter’s comment, I have been working on being aware and not repeating myself as often. Repeating can happen for reasons other than memory problems and brain injury. When one has a history of not being heard or have not being listened to by others, they can develop a pattern of repeating. Saying the same thing over and over again can also come from a lack of self-awareness.  It can also be an ineffective way of trying to heal an emotional wound.  You may say the same thing over and over but nothing changes. It would be more effective to change your behavior by accepting a situation or changing your relationship with the problem; forgiving, leaving, setting boundaries and such. Saying the same thing over and over can also be a sign of ADD.

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend, loved one or a co-worker who often repeated the same thing and didn’t focus. Someone with whom you tried to create a plan, but politely getting them to pay attention, listen and commit to a time was near impossible? Instead they just kept telling you all the situations that went on in their day and you were not able to set a meeting.

So, how to do you communicate with friends, loved ones and co-workers that are ADD or have ADD
symptoms?

[clickToTweet tweet=”What are ADD symptoms?” quote=”What are ADD symptoms?”]

Listed here are some of the Inattentive Symptoms of ADD; not the Hyperactive Symptoms. This may help you to identify why you’ve had some difficulty communicating with someone. It can clarify why you may have felt frustrated and hopefully will give you some helpful communication solutions for yourself.

Inattentive ADD Symptoms

  • Careless mistakes/lack of attention to details
  • Lack of sustained attention
  • Poor listener
  • Failure to follow through on tasks
  • Poor organization
  • Forgetful in daily activities
  • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained mental effort
  • Losing things
  • Easily distracted

[clickToTweet tweet=”Get tools to communicate with someone who has Inattentive ADD.” quote=”Get tools to communicate with someone who has Inattentive ADD.”]

Depending upon how close you are to this person, you may want to research more about ADD and continue to learn.
Here are some simple ideas that may help.

  • Use emails as your primary form of communication to set up meetings. This way you can scan the email quickly for the details about the meeting.
  • Start your conversation with, “I have one minute to plan this meeting.”
  • When the person becomes tangential, politely bring them back to topic. “Oh, I’m sorry, I
    have to go, when did you say you could meet?”
  • Give the person 3 clear choices of times.
  • Be willing to set a boundary.
  • If the person won’t be decisive, realize the meeting may not happen and move on.
  • Plan your communication with the person when you have enough time to go through the
    process to get the meeting planned.
  • Have a plan B for your time so if their disorganization creates a last minute cancelation, it
    won’t disrupt your life.

These are some ideas that may be helpful. Again, if this is someone you live with or a supervisor, I encourage you to find more information on this topic. One book you may be interested in What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don’t?   Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder by Michele Novotni, PhD   http://amzn.to/nxks8h

If you have another resource, please share with us!

Kyoto- If I can lift the rock my wish comes true!

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Got the Wintertime Blues? Seasonal Depression (SAD)

by @candesscampbell

I am delighted to have this guest blog by Dr. Patrick Dougherty. He is one of the most pure healers that I know. I am indebted to him for being such an incredible support in my own life over the years!

The days are starting to get longer, but it is still beginning to get dark by 5 pm. There are fewer sunny days. For many people the gray on the outside mirrors gray on the inside.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) incidence in the Pacific Northwest is estimated to be as high as 30% in adults. SAD is the depression, lethargy, fatigue and even detachment from life that many feel as the sun becomes a memory. Many health professionals attribute SAD, at least partially, to vitamin D3 deficiency.

Vitamin D3 is a fat soluble hormone, a chemical messenger for about 2000 chemical processes in the human body. D3 deficiencies are found in most autoimmune diseases, especially Multiple Sclerosis which has a much higher incidence in the Pacific Northwest; and in most cases of dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease.

No surprise that D3 could be a factor in SAD. If you are one of the millions living under an emotional dark cloud in the winter you might be interested in this account of a recent patient visit in my chiropractic office.

The patient had suffered two significant head and neck traumas in a little more than a two month period. Treatment consisted of various interventions designed to help her brain, her pain and her headaches. On this day she stated that she was catching a cold. Whenever this happens I offer the patient a 25,000 IU dose of liquid vitamin D. Often this stops the cold flu symptoms in their tracks.

The next day I received a call from a very excited woman who wanted to come in and purchase a bottle of D3 liquid. She not only had no cold, but her brain had more clarity and her mood was better than it had been in a long time. A happy husband paid the $28 cash price for a 6 month supply of liquid D3.

I recommend D3 for just about everyone, I like the liquid D3 because all hormones are fat soluble and, I believe, more easily utilized in liquid form. D3 is good for the whole family, and for most people it costs less than 20 cents a day. If you have the wintertime blues, come in and get your own bottle of D3.

Patrick Dougherty, D.C. is the author of  Do you Want to Get Better?  The Future of Health Care and the co-author of Quantum Healing: The Synergy of Chiropractic and Reiki

Check out his website for incredible health tips and tools!

www.spokane-chiropractic.com

Got the Wintertime Blues?

by @candesscampbell

I am delighted to have this guest blog by Dr. Patrick Dougherty. He is one of the most pure healers that I know. I am indebted to him for being such an incredible support in my own life over the years!

 

Note that this blog is timely for those of us in the north, but Vitamin D is important all year long!

The days are shorter. It might be dark by 4pm. There are fewer sunny days. For many people the gray on the outside mirrors gray on the inside.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) incidence in the Pacific Northwest is estimated to be as high as 30% in adults. SAD is the depression, lethargy, fatigue and even detachment from life that many feel as the sun becomes a memory. Many health professionals attribute SAD, at least partially, to vitamin D3 deficiency.

Vitamin D3 is a fat soluble hormone, a chemical messenger for about 2000 chemical processes in the human body. D3 deficiencies are found in most autoimmune diseases, especially Multiple Sclerosis which has a much higher incidence in the Pacific Northwest; and in most cases of dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease.

No surprise that D3 could be a factor in SAD. If you are one of the millions living under an emotional dark cloud in the winter you might be interested in this account of a recent patient visit in my chiropractic office.

The patient had suffered two significant head and neck traumas in a little more than a two month period. Treatment consisted of various interventions designed to help her brain, her pain and her headaches. On this day she stated that she was catching a cold. Whenever this happens I offer the patient a 25,000 IU dose of liquid vitamin D. Often this stops the cold flu symptoms in their tracks.

The next day I received a call from a very excited woman who wanted to come in and purchase a bottle of D3 liquid. She not only had no cold, but her brain had more clarity and her mood was better than it had been in a long time. A happy husband paid the $28 cash price for a 6 month supply of liquid D3.

I recommend D3 for just about everyone, I like the liquid D3 because all hormones are fat soluble and, I believe, more easily utilized in liquid form. D3 is good for the whole family, and for most people it costs less than 20 cents a day. If you have the wintertime blues, come in and get your own bottle of D3.

Patrick Dougherty, D.C. is the author of  Do you Want to Get Better?  The Future of Health Care and the co-author of Quantum Healing: The Synergy of Chiropractic and Reiki

Check out his website for incredible health tips and tools!

www.spokane-chiropractic.com

Can She even Hear Herself?

by @candesscampbell

 

What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year.

 Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

Have you ever listened to a friend and thought “Can she even hear herself?”  We all have patterns of communication, and behavior for that matter, we don’t notice.

I remember one day my daughter said to me, “Mom, you’ve said that before, several times.” Many of you know when I was 14 years old I had an accident that resulted in a Near Death Experience (NDE) with head injuries. As a result of this I have experienced some memory problems. Another result of this trauma was I lost my sense of smell, which also influences memory. A positive from the accident is a definite increase in my intuition. When my brain was injured, my intuitive self took over and now much of how I access information is intuitively.

brain_major_areas

Unless we continually challenge our brain, we can develop memory lapses. Since my daughter’s comment, I have been working on being aware and not repeating myself. Repeating can happen for reasons other than memory problems and brain injury. When one has a history of not being heard, not being listened to by others, they can develop a pattern of repeating. Saying the same thing over and over again can also come from a lack of self-awareness.  It can also be an ineffective way of trying to heal an emotional wound.  You may say the same thing over and over but nothing changes. It would be more effective to change your behavior by accepting a situation or changing your relationship with the problem; forgiving, leaving, setting boundaries and such. Saying the same thing over and over can also be a sign of ADD.

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend, loved one or a co-worker who often repeated the same thing and didn’t focus. Someone with whom you tried to create a plan, but politely getting them to pay attention, listen and commit to a time was near impossible? Instead they just kept telling you all the situations that went on in their day and you were not able to set a meeting.

happy-103959-m

So, how to do you communicate with friends, loved ones and co-workers that are ADD or have ADD 
symptoms?

Listed here are some of the Inattentive Symptoms of ADD; not the Hyperactive Symptoms. This may help you to identify why you’ve had some difficulty communicating with someone. It can clarify why you may have felt frustrated and hopefully will give you some helpful communication solutions for yourself.

Inattentive ADD Symptoms

  • Careless mistakes/lack of attention to details

  • Lack of sustained attention

  • Poor listener

  • Failure to follow through on tasks

  • Poor organization

  • Forgetful in daily activities

  • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained mental effort

  • Losing things

  • Easily distracted

Depending upon how close you are to this person, you may want to research more about ADD and continue to learn.
Here are some simple ideas that may help.

  • Use emails as your primary form of communication to set up meetings. This way you can scan the email quickly for the details about the meeting.

  • Start your conversation with, “I have one minute to plan this meeting.”

  • When the person becomes tangential, politely bring them back to topic. “Oh, I’m sorry, I
have to go, when did you say you could meet?”

  • Give the person 3 clear choices of times.

  • Be willing to set a boundary.

  • If the person won’t be decisive, realize the meeting may not happen and move on.

  • Plan your communication with the person when you have enough time to go through the
process to get the meeting planned.

  • Have a plan B for your time so if their disorganization creates a last minute cancelation, it
won’t disrupt your life.

These are some ideas that may be helpful. Again, if this is someone you live with or a supervisor, I encourage you to find more information on this topic. One book you may be interested in What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don’t?: Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder by Michele Novotni, PhD

How do you deal with ADD in your own life or with people in your life who show symptoms of inattentive ADD?

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Communication and Whole Brain Thinking

by @candesscampbell

I am honored and delighted to share this interview with Susie Leonard Weller. She shared with me that children mirror their parent’s brain. I am really curious about this.

Susie teaches Life Skills classes through the Institute for Extended Learning, Adult Basic Education program in Spokane, Washington. She received training through Herrmann International in North Carolina. They studied brain research for over 30 years to improve results at Fortune 500 companies. Susie has applied this research to strengthen family relationships. She is now a Certified Thinking Consultant and her book is Why Don’t You Understand? Improve Family Communication with the 4 Thinking Styles

Susie, I am really curious. What is whole brain thinking?

Susie: Thinking styles are innate preferences for how the brain gathers and processes information in distinct ways. It’s part of who we are. Just like we have a preferred hand to write with, we also have a preferred thinking style. We use our dominant hand more often because it’s easier. In a similar way, our brain requires less effort to talk with someone who shares the same thinking style.

Some people are more left-brained and make logical decisions with their head. Others are more right-brained and make relational decisions with their heart or gut instinct. A whole-brained approach integrates both of the left and the right-brain hemispheres, as well as our intellect and heart.

  • No two people are alike. Our brains are wired differently, right from the start.
  • Most family squabbles are linked to biological differences in how we think.
  • The brain requires 100% more energy to think and communicate in its opposite style.

What styles are there?

Susie: There are four main thinking styles. Imagine the brain as a four-room house. The two upstairs rooms concentrate on problem solving or seeking new solutions. These are called the Logical and Creative thinking styles. The two downstairs rooms focus on handling everyday realities and maintaining relationships. These are called the Practical and Relational thinking styles. Although we might prefer spending more time in some rooms than others, those using a whole-brain approach can access necessary skills from any of these rooms whenever they are needed.

Here’s a brief summary of all four thinking styles:

LOGICAL

Focuses on facts
Clarifies the bottom line
Likes to figure out how things work

CREATIVE

Focuses on thinking outside the box
Is imaginative and playful
Like to be spontaneous

PRACTICAL

Focuses on follow through
Organizes things
Likes to plan ahead

RELATIONAL

Focuses on feelings
Is friendly and supportive
Likes meaningful conversations

How is it that children mirror their parent’s brain?

Susie: Babies are born with “mirror neurons.” They copy everything they see. An infant’s brain is like wet concrete. The earliest impressions make the deepest impact. Experience shapes their brain—both positively and negatively. Repeated patterns become hardwired as established neural pathways. Children “download” their parents’ beliefs and behaviors to survive. By the time children are three years old, about 85% of their brain is already wired with subconscious programming for how to relate to others.

What is the best way to deal with conflict?

Susie: Conflict is a given—even within healthy relationships. The best way to handle conflicts is learning how to respect and leverage our differences. Rather than polarizing people into extreme positions, try to hear the need underlying and fueling their behavior. Learn to speak in ways others understand instead of more “loudly” in your preferred style.

Each thinking style has strengths and challenges. Learn to see them as complementary rather than sources of irritation. For example, when Logicals only focus on the facts and minimize the role of emotions, Relationals feel discounted. And, Relationals need to develop a firm backbone as well as their heart. Likewise, Creatives and Practicals can antagonize each other by refusing to accept each other’s desire to explore options or to make timely decisions.

Opposite styles are like oil and vinegar. They don’t mix easily, but they add great zest to a salad. Rather than take conflicts personally, practice becoming multi-lingual and speak in all four thinking styles whenever needed.

The key to managing conflict is finding win/win solutions to meet each others’ needs. Families are 24/7 learning labs to develop life skills—particularly how to communicate with those who think differently than we do.

How can we best set limits?

Susie: In a half-brained world, discipline styles swing from one extreme to another. But, whole-brained parents know how to balance nurture with structure, as well as to play and problem solve. First, they acknowledge the feelings; then they set an appropriate limit. Adults set clear boundaries and follow through on consequences. Wise parents know when to take charge and when to follow the child’s lead to meet their needs for connection.

What could we do to be a wise parent or a wise communicator?

Susie: Under stress, our brain regresses to a more rigid style. To avoid melt downs, learn to practice the Four C’s of courageous conversations. They will soothe the emotional brain to shift gears more easily to use all four thinking styles as needed.

Logical: Clarify a common goal and code of conduct.

Relational: Care enough to seek understanding (not to prove you’re right) and protect the safety zone so that no one shuts down or becomes aggressive.

Creative: Cultivate choices of both/and rather than either/or positions.

Practical: Commit to practicing mutual respect on a regular basis and express at least five positive comments for every negative one. In my book, I also describe the NARN (Notice, Accept, Reflect & Nurture) Process for shifting the brain to a higher gear when triggered:

1. NOTICE what’s happening—physical, emotional and mental warning signals

2. ACCEPT and work with what is, rather than deny or dismiss it.

3. REFLECT on other possible options to resolve this situation or find ways to re-frame it.

4. NURTURE yourself by choosing a concrete action to calm yourself within this moment—breathe deeply, take a break, stretch, listen to music or hum a song.

In our half brain world, more whole-brain families are needed. Our children will face increasing complexities and challenges. As Albert Einstein said, “The problems we are causing can’t be resolved in the same state of consciousness in which we created them.” Our future depends on our ability to use our whole, creative brain to discover new ways to respect how we think, communicate, relate, play and even pray together.

Thank you Susie. This is a good beginning. How can readers get more information?

You can download FREE excerpts from my book by visiting my website: www.susieweller.com

In addition, for those who contact me, I’ll send a FREE 13-page report with 30 tips for how to calm yourself in stressful moments. They are organized by each thinking style to soothe you from head to toe.

Susie Leonard Weller, M.A. for personal coaching

Call USA (509) 255-6676

Email her at weller.susie@gmail.com or visit www.susieweller.com