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Replacing Shame with Compassion MECFS

by @candesscampbell

It feels so good to start feeling better after the MECFS crash! There are so many ways I understand myself and life that I didn’t before. First of all, I am shocked at my denial. Then again, I’m not. You would think I would be more aware of myself having worked as a therapist most of my life. Especially working as a chemical dependency counselor, you would think I would be the master of detecting denial. I saw it in others but could not see it in myself. I was getting “sick.”

When I was working as a counselor in a Federal prison, I used to ask my clients, “Who had the right to be angry in your family?” It really helped clients to look deeper into their family patterns. It never occurred to me to ask “Who had the right to be ill in your home?”

Bingo!  That was my mom. My compassion for my mom is exponential now. When I was younger, I was judgmental of her. She had health issues starting at age 32 which continued throughout her life until she died at age 52; her body full of cancer. 

The perfectionist, overachiever, know-it-all part of me focused on fixing my alcoholic dad, who I adored. Later I transferred this to fixing the world. I was a healer! I could not be sick! I have always thought of myself as being on the front line; what today we would call “an essential worker.” Now I understand. Not only did I need to fix everything and everyone, I also could not be sick. This codependent behavior also included not learning to receive and especially not asking for help.

It’s funny. As I write this I think about the $500 utility bill I have. I could not call to get public help unless everyone else who needed it, got theirs first. Note to self again and anyone else who does this – stop it! You have to fill up in order to give from your excess, and not from your need. I’ll sell my old computer. 

Back to denial. Once I got it, that I was ill and I was not my mom, I started to blame others. Once I got through this, I was free to look at my own behaviors. Without judgment and blame, I inventoried myself (thanks to 12 step programs) and become clear on how the MECFS affects me and how I can take better care of myself. 

As I write, I am watching the latest MECFS videos on Youtube by leaders in the field. (Edit, edit, edit, edit!!!) I am delighted to be one of many and not the problem patient that no one knows what to do with. The shame that I felt for being sick is no longer there. Interesting.  I don’t feel a need to fix people (as much) now, but rather can just sit and listen. In 2006, Dr. Al Morgan, a naturopath drew a circle and divided it like a pie. He pointed and said, this is your part, your responsibility (or something like that) and I just couldn’t hear. I could do it all!

There was a time when friends, acquaintances, etc. would call or email anytime wanting answers to their psychic questions or connect with someone on the other side. I was on call all the time. Today I love my work as a psychic medium and as an author. Being bedridden for 4 months and mostly horizontal for a few years, I am so grateful to schedule clients weekly as I can (dependent upon my brain fog, fatigue, and myalgia.) It’s the delight of my day!

Let me say that again differently. Now that I give out of my excess (as I have taught for many, many years,) when I am with a client or a group, I am so full of love and connected to Spirit. When I connect with client’s loved ones or guides, it is not unusual for me to feel so much I just cry. No pain, just pure love. 

There is so much more to share now that I am honest with myself about my health and have healed the shame. 

Vote!

by @candesscampbell

This is an incredible time to be alive and I am so grateful for the right to vote on this election day in the US.  No matter who wins, focus on loving others regardless of their beliefs. We all have an opportunity to stop the polarization and remember that we live together on this growing, breathing planet.

focus-on-the-light1

Be compassionate, Be loving, Be Kind!

Living in Present Time!

by @candesscampbell

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage

than outright dislike.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Over the years,  I taught manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, you have to bring the past into “present time.” What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present.  Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.

Kyoto- If I can lift the rock my wish comes true!

Living in the future creates anxiety.

Living in the past creates depression. 

When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One way is to become aware of the memories and the wounds.  Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.

Start with the feelings you can identify. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA.  When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.

Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.

IMG_0156People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there behaviors you have that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect!

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.

When you have had desires, demands or expectations of someone, and they don’t do what you want or give you what you want, you respond by feeling angry or hurt.

If this happened in your past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If you choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, that is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, then only thy have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.

 If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one, until the memory is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.

 Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.

Clearing frees you to live in present time!

Live_Intuitively_Cover

 

Live Intuitively: Journal the Wisdom of your Soul will help you with writing prompts called Soul Stems™ to heal your memories and emotions.

Astrological Forecast for January 2015

by @candesscampbell

Your inner flame burns low and your fire is about to burn out. This is the time to access the information and vibrational energy of your creative, playful, and lively inner child-self.  

– Candess M. Campbell, PhD

Thanks to Lee for January 2015 Astrological Forecast!

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Stillwatersastro.com

January 3rd:  Venus enters Aquarius at 6:48 am PST.  Venus partners with Mars in the fixed air Aquarius sign of friends, colleagues, and associates gracing the arrival of 2015.

January 4th:  Mercury enters Aquarius at 5:08 pm PST.  The messenger planet joins Venus and Mars in the spirit of Aquarian fellowship contributing to an expansive sense of compassion and goodwill in the midst of a transformational Full Moon in today’s “Cardinal Cross” aspect.

January 4th:  Full Moon in Cancer/Capricorn at 14 deg 31 min at 8:53 pm PST.  The first Full Moon of 2015 activates a brief “Cardinal Cross” aspect with Uranus in Aries, Pluto in Capricorn, and the Moon’s Nodes in Libra/Aries. This aspect represents an initiatory echo from last April’s “Cardinal Cross” alignment that coincided with completions and new beginnings both collectively and personally during the Spring Season of 2014. By February 2015 the powerful transits of the past year will begin to fade.

ray of light

January 12th:  Mars enters Pisces at 2:21 am PST. The planet of action arrives in the mystical waters of Pisces reminding us to test the waters in making choices following any New Year resolutions we promised ourselves. Transiting Mars will enter its native sign of Aries on February 19th beginning a 40 day period for taking action after testing the waters of our resolutions.

January 20th:  Super New Moon in Aquarius at 5:14 am PST. The Sun and Moon merge in the early minutes of a single degree of longitude in the sign of Aquarius on January 20th resulting in a rare Aquarius New Moon double header event followed by a second Super New Moon in the final degree of Aquarius on February 18th ushering in the Chinese New Year.

ray

January 21st:  Mercury stations retrograde in Aquarius at 7:54 am PST.  The first Mercury retrograde of 2015 is in the sign of Aquarius insisting that we consider the bigger picture of how we as individuals fit into the collective community of the global village. Mercury will station direct at 1 degree in Aquarius on February 11th.

January 27th:  Venus enters Pisces. Lady Venus completes Her New Year visit in Aquarius to serve as a muse with Mars, Chiron, and Neptune in Pisces through February 19th.

 I just found out you can order a Goddess Natal Report: Interpretations for 12 Goddess Asteroids in a natal chart with Lee for only $25! Find out more about his Intuitive Astrological Readings at Stillwatersastro.com!

Clearing the Past

by @candesscampbell

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Over the years, what I have taught is manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, you have to bring the past into “present time.” What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present.  Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.

 

Kyoto- If I can lift the rock my wish comes true!

Living in the future creates anxiety.

Living in the past creates depression. 

When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One that I teach is to become aware of the memories and the wounds.  Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.

The ones you can identify is where to start. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA.  When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.

Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.

IMG_0156People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there things you do that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect.

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.

You may have had desires, demands or expectations of someone. Then you find they didn’t either give you what you wanted or they behaved in ways that hurt you.

If this is so and is in the past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, it is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, they then have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.

 If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one until it is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.

 Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.

Clearing frees you to live in present time.

Live_Intuitively_Cover

 Live Intuitively: Journal the Wisdom of your Soul will help you with writing prompts called Soul Stems™ to heal your memories and emotions.