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The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

This blog was originally published on this site in September 2015. I thought it would be good to re-publish it. There were no changes made to the original post.

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. It is actually situations in my own life, well situations that I am privy to, that stimulate this writing on the Bully. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

Photoshop Backup 7 577What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then learns skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was first published in Live Encounters Magazine.

 

Chakra Two and Control – Do the Work!

by @candesscampbell

This morning in my morning walk I was listening to Caroline Myss’s Energy Anatomy on iTunes. In other writings she refers to the second chakra as the chakra of relationship.

Your second chakra is the sacral chakra associated with sensual movement and with sexuality. The information contained in the second chakra relates to relationship, emotions, intimacy, sexuality, creativity, work and money.

In the audio Myss introduced the second chakra as being about Control. That got my attention. So many of the client issues that come up in my private practice are issues that are housed in the Second Chakra.

Recently I have had some conversations with friends regarding self-reflection and “Doing the Work.” At dinner the other night a friend said, “Maybe they don’t know how do to the work.” This surprised me, but I think he is right. Another friend said that she will answer calls from friends who are in crisis if they also have a counselor and/or health providers who they are working with to heal. This was helpful for me. I realized, although this is oversimplified, people either are in a process of Doing the Work, or they end up in crisis over and over again and reach out in crisis. Once they are over the situation, they go on with their lives until the next crisis. This is exhausting for family, friends and even counselors!

[click_to_tweet tweet=”What it means to Do the Work can be different for different people. ” quote=”What it means to Do the Work can be different for different people. “]

First identify your need for help. Often this shows up when you find you are angry, hurt, or irritated by someone else. It can also be from something that happened in the past that you continue to replay in your mind or feelings. Frustrated you can’t get someone to do something? Focus on yourself!

Here are some ways to Do the Work!

  • Attend regular counseling sessions
  • Meditate with a teacher or group where you are guided to develop
  • Be in a self-help or 12 step group focusing upon your growth
  • Have a regular journal practice where you use a book that guides you in a process of healing

When you Do the Work you

  • Process and heal your feelings
  • Organize your life so you function easily
  • Gain insight
  • Learn tools to help with difficult situation

When I was listening to her audio this morning, I was inspired by Caroline Myss’s information on the Second Chakra. Below are her words and her work!

The second chakra contains

your relationship to Power on the one on one level.

 Your need to control others.

Your need to control events.

Your need to control period.

You fill in the blank. 

It’s your need to control other people, the way things happen, the way people believe.

Now I want you to imagine somebody in your life. Just one person. How many of you can think of one person that you are vitally invested in controlling. Now I want you to imagine why are you so interested in controlling that person. What kind of answer would you give. “Well, that person needs me.” But the truth is what you really are doing is you want to keep that person weak so they need you. You want to keep them weak and damaged and wounded, so they need you. And, that is going to cost you. That will cost you your Spirit.

Now, I’m going to speak Angel to you. This is Angel 101. I’m going to say, what are you doing and you are going to say, “I am investing part of my circuitry with the command, to control that person. I want to influence that person’s thinking process. I want to keep me a vital part of that person’s thinking process. That will cost you a great deal of your energy every day and in every way, you are transmitting a part of your Spirit on mission to infiltrate that person’s energy and likewise I presume there are people equally invested in controlling you. So you are the recipient of energetic information.

 I want you to imagine that your body operates; this system operates the way email does. There is no difference. Every time you have a thought about someone you put it in their email box. Email for Energy Mail. This is good. I like this. It’s literally energetic mail. That is exactly what you are doing. I am convinced that the whole form of the tribal creation of these computer databases, all of that is a complete physical metaphor and creation of what I am talking about in terms of the way we work energetically. We have duplicated ourselves in the computer form. So now we need to learn to play by energetic rules.

 What I am telling you about is your second chakra connects you to everybody and everything you want to control. How many of you have ever even paid attention to what you want to control or how much you invest in what you want to control. You haven’t even got a clue.

 

 

Caroline Myss is talking about becoming aware. That is the first step to Doing the Work.

Other spiritual teachers say the same thing in different ways. Mary Ellen Flora who created the Church of Divine Man teaches that we cannot create in another’s life. If we try to create in someone else’s life, they then have to learn to move us out of their energy field so they can create for themselves.

Abraham Hicks says it’s not helpful to try to change someone. “If they could change, they’d do it themselves.”

Having said all this, if you were to Do the Work, what commitment can you make to yourself?

I like using books and audios to guide me.   A few suggestions are these.

Energy Anatomy by Caroline Myss

Live Intuitively: Journal the Wisdom of your Soul by Candess M. Campbell, PhD

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

There are so many ways to move into clearing the past and living fully in the moment! Do the Work!

Learn about Chakras, Meditation and reading your energy field!

 

I Have Something to Say #metoo and #timesup!

by @candesscampbell

This year’s Golden Globes were inspirational and empowering for women. Oprah’s speech which included the #metoo and #timesup movement was pioneering. I loved seeing the women bond together and wear black in support. I especially loved seeing the men stand in unity with the women.

https://youtu.be/fN5HV79_8B8

I am 61 years old. At age 14 when waiting for a bus, I took a ride with a man who offered. Rather than being kidnapped I jumped from the truck as he turned which resulted in my having a head injury and being in a coma for two weeks (having a NDE) and having a Priest give me last rights. At age 15 after months of being groomed by a 23-year-old married man, my first sexual experience was one of being raped. At age 16 I was fired from a nursing home job where I moped floors because the administration was uncomfortable with the elderly men looking at me. At age 18, I was a single mom with two children. At Thanksgiving everyone at the department store where I worked was offered a free turkey. My boss offered me a turkey if I slept with him. No thanks. And there is more . . .

In my early 20s I was on the front lines of the local feminist movement in an attempt to free myself from a battering relationship that had gone on for years. I think you get the picture. Our environment and our experiences shape us.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Help women who cannot help themselves! https://www.gofundme.com/timesup/” quote=”Empower women and share your support! https://www.gofundme.com/timesup/”]

My focus has not been hateful or angry at men, but has been about empowering and coming together. My response was to go to community college and become a substance abuse counselor, one of the first in the nation. While working in a Federal prison where I counseled clients, I continued my education. I received my Master’s Degree from Gonzaga University in Counseling Psychology and became a mental health counselor. I have spent the last 35 years, more than half my life, sitting in sessions and groups counseling and helping others heal from their wounds. Many of these women have been tortured and nearly killed at the hands of their boyfriends and husbands. Don’t feel sorry for me. These memories have been healed and empowered me to help others!

I’m sharing this story because although it is Celebrities who are bringing the #metoo and #timesup movement to the forefront of our minds, many women don’t have the resources to make changes. I channeled my pain into education which was healing for me, but that is not how many women respond. They become paralyzed, scared and often become emotionally or physically ill.

I love that Women Power is finally at the front of our consciousness. NOW, let’s bring in the men that we love to support us. We don’t want to swing the other way and polarize the relationships between Women and Men. Embrace the men in your life. Invite them to support you. Allow them to stay empowered and to empower the women that they love. Much of my own healing was in the arms of men who loved me.

Now, I understand – it is not all women and all men. Men have been and continue to be victimized too. Speak up about abuse. Create a safe place for others to share with you.

There are many conversations to have. Some abuse is in the workplace. Some is in the home. Some is random by predators. Some women choose to stay for whatever reason. Shaming women who stay is not okay. PTSD is real and paralyzing. They need support!

We are all in this together.

If you are angry, hurt, victimized and wounded – get into counseling and heal yourself.

You deserve it!

Please donate to help the women who don’t have resources to help themselves!

https://www.gofundme.com/timesup/

The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. This article was first written in response to a situation that I was privy to regarding a child who suffered from bullying from his father. It is apropos today as many live in fear due to the recent election in the United States. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

Photoshop Backup 7 577What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then learns skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Children respond to bullying in a couple of ways!” quote=”Do you have the Bully Archetype?”]

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was first published in Live Encounters Magazine and updated and republished here.

 

The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

 Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then they learn skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was previously published in Live Encounters Magazine.

 

The Prostitute Archetype

by @candesscampbell

The function of prayer is not to influence God,

but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

Søren Kierkegaard

Keeping with the 4 main Archetypes that we all share, the 3rd of the 4 is the Prostitute Archetype. Again, this information comes from notes from classes I took from Caroline Myss and Norm Shealy on Medical Intuition and her book Sacred Contracts along with information I gained in my counseling practice and of course, my own life.

What I love about the Prostitute Archetype is that it is truly about Faith. When you are in survival mode, when you believe you will lose all that you have or not get what you truly believe you need in order to survive, the choice is either to compromise your integrity or have faith.

Some of you may know I have struggled a lot with loss.  First was my near death experience (NDE) when I was 14 years old. The second main challenge was when I had a house fire and lost everything (material).  I was at work and my two daughters were home. My daughter called me and said “Mom, the house is on fire!” I told her to get her sister and get out. I was terrified and prayed all the way home. First I saw the ambulance, then my dad and then my children. When I looked at my home burning, I saw an image of Jesus’s hand reaching down into the ashes and bringing out Life! At that time I knew all was well.

Later, there was emotional and material loss after a divorce. I became depressed and could not work for a while. Many of my belongings were stored in the barn at the home where my husband and I had lived. My former husband rented the house and the renter moved all my belongings into a room in the barn where the roof leaked. All my possessions were ruined. Having moved and not having a job at the time, I didn’t have money to pay rent at my apartment. I prayed and told God that if it were his will that I be a bag lady on the street, then so be it. I would minister on the street. Although I was ready to give up everything to do God’s will, I did hold out for a request of warm socks. What happened instead was my life changed. I went into private practice and was gifted with abundance beyond what I had imagined.

In all of these cases, when there was loss, the answer was Faith and the way for me to Faith was and is surrender. Now, this was my response to what had happened. Today when I pray, I usually pray for others and in gratitude for all I have.

The following are pearls, especially if you are one who contemplates, meditates and journals! Enjoy!!!

Prostitute Archetype – The Guardian of Faith

The core issue is how much you are willing to sell your morals, integrity, intellect, word, body, soul for the sake of physical security

  • Engages lessons in integrity and the sale or negotiation of one’s integrity or Spirit due to fears of physical and financial survival for financial gain.
  • Activates the aspects of the unconscious that are related to seduction and control, whereby you are as capable of buying a controlling interest in another person as you are in selling your own power.
  • Selling your talents, ideas, and any other expression of the self or “selling out” your talents, ideas and other expressions of self.
  • Comes into play most clearly when our survival is threatened.
  • Dramatically embodies and tests the power of faith; with faith no one can buy you, you know you can take care of yourself and the Divine is looking out for you – without faith, you will eventually meet the price you cannot turn down.
  • Majority of prostitutes are in bad marriages or in miserable jobs; their inability to move out of toxic environments is totally tied to economics.
  • Who or what is trying to buy, use or contaminate you?  As Jesus with Satan, every time you take a step on your path of personal empowerment, you will meet someone who will want to buy a piece of your soul, rendering you less powerful and themselves more powerful.
  • Shadow side is taking shortcuts such as buying or sharing power, i.e. “I am a friend of a friend of famous person.”
  • One stays in relationships that by name gives them power long after the relationship has gone cold.
  • Confronting the prostitute transforms it into the guardian that watches over your relationship to faith.
  • The prostitute is your ally that alerts you when you shift from the Divine to the physical.
  • Whenever you are in a faith crisis, list your thoughts and fears, especially the ones that are trying to talk you into compromising yourself.
  • Be aware of the prostitute when it appears you could order your life if you had the money, when you stay in relationships so you don’t have to be alone and when you think of doing something unethical or illegal “for the good of the company, family, etc.”
  • Prostitute relationships are the most painful because they involve survival and are often terrifying and humiliating.
  • Do you think before you say your opinion “What will this cost me in terms of popularity or gain?”
  • The prostitute can awaken you to “take up your bed and walk.”  Once you get away from a circumstance that costs you too much money, energy, dignity or time, lasting transformation is possible.
  • Shadow prostitute will urge you to sell out your integrity and your vision of true independence at the first opportunity.

Join with me in delving into the Prostitute Archetype in your journal! Here is a helpful journal process.

 

Willing to share a time when realized you prostituted your values to gain something you wanted?

When has your Faith transported you from one emotional  place to another? 

The Prostitute Archetype was originally published on Energy Medicine DNA