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Living in Present Time!

June 25, 2016 by @candesscampbell

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage

than outright dislike.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Over the years,  I taught manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, you have to bring the past into “present time.” What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present.  Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.

Kyoto- If I can lift the rock my wish comes true!

Living in the future creates anxiety.

Living in the past creates depression. 

When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One way is to become aware of the memories and the wounds.  Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.

Start with the feelings you can identify. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA.  When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.

Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.

IMG_0156People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there behaviors you have that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect!

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.

When you have had desires, demands or expectations of someone, and they don’t do what you want or give you what you want, you respond by feeling angry or hurt.

If this happened in your past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If you choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, that is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, then only thy have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.

 If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one, until the memory is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.

 Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.

Clearing frees you to live in present time!

Live_Intuitively_Cover

 

Live Intuitively: Journal the Wisdom of your Soul will help you with writing prompts called Soul Stems™ to heal your memories and emotions.

Clearing the Past

June 19, 2014 by @candesscampbell

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Over the years, what I have taught is manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, you have to bring the past into “present time.” What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present.  Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.

 

Kyoto- If I can lift the rock my wish comes true!

Living in the future creates anxiety.

Living in the past creates depression. 

When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One that I teach is to become aware of the memories and the wounds.  Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.

The ones you can identify is where to start. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA.  When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.

Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.

IMG_0156People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there things you do that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect.

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.

You may have had desires, demands or expectations of someone. Then you find they didn’t either give you what you wanted or they behaved in ways that hurt you.

If this is so and is in the past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, it is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, they then have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.

 If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one until it is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.

 Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.

Clearing frees you to live in present time.

Live_Intuitively_Cover

 Live Intuitively: Journal the Wisdom of your Soul will help you with writing prompts called Soul Stems™ to heal your memories and emotions.

 

 

 

Commitment

June 6, 2014 by @candesscampbell

“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

As stated in the beginning of this year, my word for 2014 is Relationships. This year, my commitment has been to come closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.

pigpenThe reality is, when you are in relationship, and especially when you create a new intimate relationship, all the unfinished emotional business is right in your face. It reminds me of the “PigPen” character from Charlie Brown, except the dust and dirt is literally right in your face!

 

You have to learn to set boundaries, compromise, be compassionate, communication clearly, understand yours is not the only perspective and the list is nearly endless.

Even more than that, when you are in an intimate relationship, it is necessary to become vulnerable. Of course, it is best to choose a partner who is safe so you can be vulnerable! Most of us have been hurt in the past. Staying in “present time” with your new love is important. It is not helpful to treat your current partner as if she or he is going to behave like the one who cheated on you, could not communicate at all, or had a slight attachment disorder and played “come here, go away!”

So a few things to think about in your relationships.

1. You will tend to be happier if you don’t fall in love with potential. When you are evaluating your choices around relationship, ask yourself if you would be happy with this person long term, even if she or he did not change anything at all. Most likely other people don’t change just because we want them to.

2. Speak up in the beginning of the relationship and let your needs be known. Many people don’t rock the boat for fear the other person will leave or not like them; especially in the beginning excitement of the relationship. Tell your partner who you are, what you want and be real about it. Too often I see people keep quiet and then either become angry when the other person doesn’t know what they want. They expect the one they love to be a mind reader. Then they either blow up on the outside and become angry and argumentative or on the inside and become ill and/or passive aggressive. If they leave when you communicate, they are not a good fit. You deserve to be loved for who you are.

3. Opposites may attract, but in the long run, if you don’t have the same interests, it is difficult to stay connected. If you are single and looking for a relationship: look in the places that you already go.

4. And lastly, when your relationship is with your family – understand neutrality and amusement. When there is conflict, see your family from a neutral place. It is not helpful to try to change them or get them to see things your way. Who has been able to change you and change how you think by telling you over and over. Be amused at how they choose to live their life and focus back on yourself and create happiness in your own life.

Commitment

March 4, 2014 by @candesscampbell

“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” 
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

Relationships may be the most important aspect of your life. This year, my commitment is and has been to bring myself closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.

Truly, I understand with relationships there are so many components. We have to learn to set healthy boundaries, know when to compromise, practice compassion, learn to have clear communication, and to understand it really is all about perspective. The list is nearly endless. Stay tuned as I share with you my process (probably similar to yours,) in the area of relationships.

Often we become inspired by and motivated by the process of others. Join me in exploring and creating healthy relationships.

 

Love

January 5, 2014 by @candesscampbell

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone                     deeply gives you courage.”                        ― Laozi

When talking about relationships, love is in the forefront. Close your eyes and focus in your heart and feel who it is that fills your heart. Allow memories and images to come up that fill you with love.

IMG_1007

This is a practice that can increase your happiness, lighten your mood and shift your attitude. Isn’t it amazing how much we can shift what we are feeling through a simple image of those we love?

Today would be a good day to reach out to a loved one. You can make a call, text or email them, visit them or send them a gift. Our relationships are sacred and creating a memory with them can last forever.

When you cannot be with a loved one for some reason, you can also focus in your heart, bring your consciousness up out of the top of your head, up into the heavens. Imagine the person standing there with you and send love to the person through your heart. This can heal a wounded relationship and bring peace to one who is missing you. You may be surprised when they call you suddenly!

Clearing the Past

January 3, 2014 by @candesscampbell

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Much of what I have taught over the years has been about manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, often you have to bring the past into present time to heal. What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present.  Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.

Living in the past can create depression. 

Living in the future can create anxiety.

2010-06-27 18 27 01

When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One that I teach is to become aware of the memories and the wounds.  Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.

The ones you can identify is where to start. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA.  When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.

Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.

People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there things you do that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.

You may have had desires, demands or expectations of someone. Then you find they didn’t either give you what you wanted or they behaved in ways that hurt you.

If this is so and is in the past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, it is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, they then have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.

If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one until it is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.

Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.

Clearing frees you to live in present time.

 

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Candess M. Campbell, PHD.

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