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The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

This blog was originally published on this site in September 2015. I thought it would be good to re-publish it. There were no changes made to the original post.

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. It is actually situations in my own life, well situations that I am privy to, that stimulate this writing on the Bully. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

Photoshop Backup 7 577What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then learns skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was first published in Live Encounters Magazine.

 

Your Thick Skull!

by @candesscampbell

I think it was when I ran into Kerouac and Burroughs – when I was 17 – that I realized I was talking through an empty skull . . . I wasn’t thinking my own thoughts or saying my own thoughts.                             Allen Ginsberg

 

“I can’t get it through your thick skull,”  a character on a TV show says. What does it mean? Being a writer, I often listen for sayings and I wonder where they came from.

Have you ever talked with someone and shared with her as clearly as you can, and then she  responded with something that had nothing to do with what you said?

Communication can be difficult when your head is full of your own thoughts. You are stuck in your own perspective and you can’t seem to find room for how anyone else sees the world.

What happens for all of us is we tend to defend ourselves by taking a stand on something. We see it our way, and close down our minds to other possibilities. In part, this can be a survival tool; to not become so sensitive to all that is happening around, and to just focus on our task.

In relationship though, this can be frustrating and derisive.

[clickToTweet tweet=”In relationship it is important to see each other’s point of view! ” quote=”Have you ever heard two people sharing with each other and you could see both sides, but they could not see the other’s point at all?”]

You may have seen old 1970’s TV rerun episode of All in the Family, with Archie and Edith Bunker. In this episode, they were discussing politics. Archie was irate when he found out Edith had voted for the opposing candidate from Archie’s. All he could see was his vote didn’t count. She had cancelled it out. They went round and round and he could not understand her vote had nothing to do with his. He would never understand this of course.

We all have this tendency to have a “thick skull” at times. Being a reader, I love seeing the world from other people’s perspective, especially other cultures.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Connection with others is so much better when we see situations from the other person’s perspective. ” quote=”Connection with others would be so much better if we all tried to see situations from the other person’s perspective. “]

This can be done in the privacy of your own mind. You don’t have to give up your position. Once you do practice seeing the other point of view though, it becomes easier.

You don’t have to agree with the opposing view, but being open to hearing it and understanding why one would see it that way helps strengthen relationship.

 

Three of my Favorite Books that share a different life perspective from my own.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

 

The Poisonwood Bible is a story told by the wife and four daughters of Nathan Price, a fierce, evangelical Baptist who takes his family and mission to the Belgian Congo in 1959. They carry with them everything they believe they will need from home, but soon find that all of it — from garden seeds to Scripture — is calamitously transformed on African soil. What follows is a suspenseful epic of one family’s tragic undoing and remarkable reconstruction over the course of three decades in postcolonial Africa.

Credit – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7244.The_Poisonwood_Bible?ac=1&from_search=true

 

 

Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi

From the highly acclaimed, award-winning author of Floating in My Mother’s Palm comes a stunning novel about ordinary people living in extraordinary times.

Trudi Montag is a Zwerg—a dwarf—short, undesirable, different, the voice of anyone who has ever tried to fit in. Eventually she learns that being different is a secret that all humans share—from her mother who flees into madness, to her friend Georg whose parents pretend he’s a girl, to the Jews Trudy harbors in her cellar.

Ursula Hegi brings us a timeless and unforgettable story in Trudi and a small town, weaving together a profound tapestry of emotional power, humanity, and truth.

Credit  – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/77163.Stones_from_the_River?ac=1&from_search=true

 

 

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

 An unforgettable journey into one man’s remarkable life, and an epic story about the power, intimacy, and curious beauty of the work of healing others set in 1960s & 1970s Ethiopia and 1980s America.

Marion and Shiva Stone are twin brothers born of a secret union between a beautiful Indian nun and a brash British surgeon at a mission hospital in Addis Ababa. Orphaned by their mother’s death in childbirth and their father’s disappearance, bound together by a preternatural connection and a shared fascination with medicine, the twins come of age as Ethiopia hovers on the brink of revolution. Yet it will be love, not politics—their passion for the same woman—that will tear them apart and force Marion, fresh out of medical school, to flee his homeland. He makes his way to America, finding refuge in his work as an intern at an underfunded, overcrowded New York City hospital. When the past catches up to him—nearly destroying him—Marion must entrust his life to the two men he thought he trusted least in the world: the surgeon father who abandoned him and the brother who betrayed him.

Credit – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3591262-cutting-for-stone?ac=1&from_search=true

Enjoy!

 

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The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. This article was first written in response to a situation that I was privy to regarding a child who suffered from bullying from his father. It is apropos today as many live in fear due to the recent election in the United States. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

Photoshop Backup 7 577What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then learns skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Children respond to bullying in a couple of ways!” quote=”Do you have the Bully Archetype?”]

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was first published in Live Encounters Magazine and updated and republished here.

 

The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

 Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then they learn skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was previously published in Live Encounters Magazine.

 

Getting through your Thick Skull!

by @candesscampbell

“I think it was when I ran into Kerouac and Burroughs – when I was 17 – that I realized I was talking through an empty skull… I wasn’t thinking my own thoughts or saying my own thoughts.”  

  –  Allen Ginsberg

“I can’t get it through your thick skull,” a character on a TV show says. What does it mean? Being a writer, I often listen for sayings and I wonder where they came from.

Have you ever talked with someone and you shared with her as clearly as you can, and when she responded, what she said had nothing to do with what you said?

Communication can be difficult when your head is full of your own thoughts. You are stuck in your own perspective and you can’t seem to find room for how anyone else sees the world.

couples What happens for all of us is we tend to defend ourselves by taking a stand on something. We see it our way, and close down our minds to other possibilities. In part, this can be a survival tool; to not become so sensitive to all that is happening around, and to just focus on our task.  In relationship though, this can be frustrating and derisive. Have you ever heard two people sharing with each other and you could see both sides, but they could not see the others point at all?

I remember an old 1970’s TV episode of All in the Family, with Archie and Edith Bunker. In this episode, they were discussing politics. Archie was irate when he found out Edith had voted for the opposing candidate from Archie’s. All he could see was his vote didn’t count. She had cancelled it out. They went round and round and he could not understand her vote had nothing to do with his. He would never understand this of course.

Archie

We all have this tendency to “have a thick skull” at times. Being a reader, I love seeing the world from other people’s perspective, especially other cultures. How I am in close relationship, well, that may be a different story.

The goal of course is to try to see situations from the other person’s perspective. This can be done in the privacy of your own mind. You don’t have to give up your position. Once you do practice seeing the other point of view though, it becomes easier. You don’t have to agree with the opposing view, but being open to hearing it and understanding why one would see it that way helps strengthen relationship.

Since I mentioned liking to read books that take on a different perspective, I’ll share three of my favorites.  Enjoy!

Poisonwood poisonwood

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stones Hegi

Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cutting for Stone

 

 

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese