Energy Medicine DNA

Call your Psychic!

The Victim Archetype

by @candesscampbell

“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.

The challenge is to silence the mind” 

 Caroline Myss

Previously I shared information about the Child Archetype and asked you to look at your relationship with others and integrate this information so you can see how you “show up” in relation to others. Today I will share about the Victim Archetype. The gift of the Victim Archetype is Self-Esteem.

According to the teachings of Caroline Myss there are 4 main archetypes we all share. They are the Child, Victim, Saboteur and Prostitute.

This information comes from information from Caroline Myss’ work in her Sacred Contracts book and the classes I took from her on Medical Intuition and Sacred Contracts. I have also added information that I have gained from working as a mental health counselor and chemical dependency professional for over 20 years.

In the process of self-healing, you have to come to terms with your victim self and move beyond this state of being. You can identify your victim, confront the behavior, love and forgive yourself and bring your energy into present time. In fact, unless you can bring at least 80% of your energy into present time, you will not have the power to self-heal. What do I mean by bringing yourself into present time? Watch your thoughts. Do you go off to the future (which can create anxiety) or drift off to the past (which can cause depression) or are you able to be present in the moment?

Enjoy exploring this archetype that can bring you high self-esteem once you embrace this part of yourself and move on!

Victim Archetype

Guardian of Self Esteem

Core issue is whether it is worth giving up your own sense of empowerment to avoid taking responsibility for your independence.

When you don’t stand up for yourself after awhile you no longer can tell the difference whether you are being victimized or not; so either you are being victimized and don’t know it or you are not being victimized, but act as if you are.

  • The victim archetype helps you decide what you will or will not do; a guardian of personal boundaries.
  • Lessons associated with the victim archetype demand that you evaluate your relationship to power, especially with people with whom you have control issues and have to set boundaries.
  • Primary objective is to develop self-esteem and personal power.
  • You have contracts with people whose primary purpose is to help you develop yourself-esteem through acts of honesty, integrity, courage, endurance and self-respect.
  • The victim will entice you to feel sorry for yourself.
  • You can act like a victim and give in or call upon your companions and guides for help.
  • Like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, you need to have the courage to look at your victim and make it your ally.
  • Do you victimize yourself in the way you interpret conversations with other people?
  • Does your victim alert you to protect yourself rather than letting people take advantage of you?
  • Does your victim motivate you to be shrewd in the dealings of whatever house it is in?
  • Does your empowered victim allow you to take risks in your life?
  • The victim urges us to act appropriately when we are in danger of being victimized.
  • The victim can alert us to being victimized through passivity and rash or inappropriate actions.
  • It can also alert us to how we victimize others for personal gain.
  • In shadow it may show how we play victim for sympathy or pity.

Join with me in delving into this Victim Archetype in your journal! Here is a helpful journal process.

Need help understanding your archetypes?  Schedule an appointment!

Sexual Addiction!

by @candesscampbell


“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” 
― Hunter S. Thompson

 

Sexual addiction! What is it? With the accessibility of stimulation through the Internet and mobile phones, there is a lot more exposure to the issue of sexual addiction. In my private practice as a mental health and addictions counselor, more and more clients are showing up who need help from this addiction. Actually it is usually the partner of the addict that is either reaching out for help or giving the addict an ultimatum – get help or else. Whether it be prostitution, pornography or chronic masturbation, it can wreak havoc in their lives and the lives of those they love.  In response to this, the treatment community has begun to use sexual addiction assessments along with alcohol and drug assessments.

Working as a chemical dependency counselor at a Federal prison camp in the mid-1990s, during the “war on drugs,” we began assessing for childhood sexual abuse and past sexual abuse. Nearly all of the female clients had been sexually abused. Some of the men said yes, but I suspect even with the promise of confidentially, they did not admit to this. Many who have been abused don’t remember, but issues show up later in their relationships.

Most of my clients who were diagnosed as sex addicts had been women and men who had a history of past sexual abuse and at some level attempted to find balance and healing, but instead found themselves in relationships where they became sexually addicted and often exploited. Some went on to be sex offenders. One example is a past client I counseled. He had been abused by his older brother and then went on to sexually abuse his nephew.

A leader in the field of Sexual Addition treatment is Douglas Weiss, PhD. This article summarizes the 6 Types of Sexual Addicts, a model he developed, which became the standard used to certify Sexual Recovery Therapists by the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy.

 

Six Types of Sexual Addicts

1. Biological Sexual Addict

Weiss states this is the most common sex addict. Basically the behavior is “ring the bell, feed the dog, ring the bell, feed the dog” like Pavlov’s conditioning. What happens is during orgasm; the endorphins that are released create an attachment to what is happening at the time. So whether this is a real or imaged person, the chemical release in the brain creates a bond. These endorphins, “almost four times as strong as morphine,” are the highest chemical reward the brain can come by, legally. Therefore, “your brain literally glues to, hungers for, craves, and wants to repeat that activity again.”

Weiss states that the Biological Sex Addict probably represents less than 15% of all sexual addicts, and is the baseline of all the sexual addictions. Most also have components of the other five types.

In my own counseling practice, many of my female clients who have a history of sexual abuse fall for his type of addict. They become the sexual object for them.

2. Psychological Sexual Addict 

This person is often the one who has experienced emotional or physical abuse in his life. Due to the lack of love, touch, or security, as a child he sets up a fantasy life. This sense of neglect can carry on into adulthood and when his needs sare not met at home, he creates a fantasy world where he feels adored, worshiped, and desired. This is the man who fantasizes he is the best, the biggest, the greatest, etc. If he has been dominated in his life he may fantasize as being the one who is dominating.

In his psychological fantasy, he feels sexually powerful, loved and wanted. In his imagination, he doesn’t have to deal with real women who may say no, ask him for commitment, ask for help with the housework or ask for emotional intimacy. Once this fantasy is paired with the powerful chemical endorphins, he is hooked.

3. Spiritual Based Sexual Addict

Similar to the psychological sexual addict, this addict is looking for a connection. There is a strong desire for a spiritual connection. They look to find it within their sexual addiction. In this case, once they have a spiritual experience through a religious encounter, an experience with Jesus or another guide or Guru, the sexual addiction stops. “Their sexual addiction just plain stops, because that’s where the origin of the ache or the need was for the individual.” These people rarely get help within the clinical community.

4. Trauma Based Sexual Addict

The trauma based sexual addict is the client I have most experience with. In this case, he or she has experienced sexual trauma, most likely as a child or adolescent. These clients go on to mirror their trauma in their relationships. For example a young girl who was sexually abused by an older uncle may end up in relationship after relationship with older men. She may despise herself for this, but continue the behavior and recreate the shame. A woman who has been physically abused in conjunction with a sexual trauma may act out being abused in the sexual act in order to be satisfied and make attempt after attempt to find the right partner, shaming herself all the way. She becomes a sexual addict that is also the sexual object of another addict.

5. Intimacy Anorexic

Although a separate issue from sexual addiction, Weiss states intimacy anorexia affects around 29% of sex addicts. Generally, the anorexic behavior is related to “sex addiction, sexual trauma, neglect in the family and cross gender attachment disorder.” There also may be related to other co-occurring disorders. Weiss describes intimacy anorexia as when a “spouse intentionally withholds emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy.” They may control through silence, anger, or withholding money. They blame their spouse, withhold love, tend to be critical, and are unwilling to talk about their feelings. This is a difficult situation for the addict because as they are working on their own recovery, whether it be abstaining from prostitutes, masturbation, or pornography, they also need to learn to move toward their spouse or partner and re-create a healthy relationship. They have to learn to feel and communicate their feelings.

 6. Mood Disorder

Sexual addicts who also have a mood disorder are another type of sex addict. Weiss shared about clients who were bipolar or had cyclothymic disorder and were medicating the imbalance neurologically through the ejaculation response. Until the medication was adjusted properly, they continued to relapse.

When you hear the term sexual addict, it may conjure up an image of someone being sexual, playful and having fun. The truth is the very opposite. Although the sexual thoughts and behavior may start that way, as in any addiction, the person loses control and their life spirals downward. Sexual addicts generally have low self-esteem and believe no one will love them as they are. They lack emotional intimacy and are continually pre-occupied with sex and sexual fantasies. They feel out of control and experience mood swings. They are filled with feelings of guilt and shame.

You may wonder, how sexual addiction is different from normal sexual behavior.

Weiss explains, “in a normal situation, a person is having sex inside a relationship context. He/she is gluing to the person, the eyes, and the soul of the person he/she is being sexual with.” This is different than having the object of sexual fulfillment being images that do not respond. Addiction creates lack of control, shame, and self-loathing and destroys relationships.

 As with all addictions, recovery is a one-day at a time process. Interventions and treatment planning is different for each specific person. Most often when one is treated for sexual addition, the chances of recovery are better when their spouse or partner is involved.

 In addition to treatment centers like the Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where Dr. Weiss is the Executive Director, there are also 12 Step Programs such as Sex Addicts Anonymous. https://saa-recovery.org/ There are several other similar programs that provide help.

 The Six Types of Sexual Addicts information came from a written interview of Dr. Weiss by Barbara Alexander and my email communication with him.

 Douglas Weiss, Ph.D., is the Executive Director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center and the author of The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery (Discovery Press, 2008).

 Heart to Heart Counseling Center 719-278-3708

heart2heart@xc.org.  Website www.sexaddict.com. 

This article was originally published In Live Encounters Magazine! 

April’s Cardinal Cross: The Seasons of Our Lives In One Month

by @candesscampbell

Many people have been affected by the upcoming energy of the Grand Cross so I asked my astrologer to help us to understand what it means.    

Enjoy this guest blog by Lee of Stillwaters Astro!             http://stillwatersastro.com/             –  Candess

 

Much has been discussed in recent months about the meaning and potential effects of April’s “Cardinal Grand Cross.”  Just what does it mean to experience the combined effects of four planets each playing its own role in one of the four Cardinal signs forming a very close alignment in the shape of a cross in the same month?

The four Cardinal signs of the Tropical Zodiac are Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn that signify the beginning of the four seasons with the Sun’s annual arrival at zero degrees of longitude in each Cardinal sign. Cardinal signs can be described as “initiatory” corridors that usher in the official arrival of the Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter seasons each year.

Just as the seasons change with the arrival of Spring (birth), Summer (growth), Autumn (decline), and Winter (death), so do human lives in the course of each passing season and year.

Grand_Cross_by_CaptainJuu

The April 2014 Cardinal Grand Cross consists of a unique alignment of the planets Uranus in the sign of Aries, Jupiter in the sign of Cancer, Mars in the sign of Libra, and Pluto in the sign of Capricorn. These four planets form the symbol of a “Cross” within a single degree of an exact alignment that reaches its closest aspect during April 20th – 23rd.  This Cardinal Grand Cross is further distinguished by its placement near the midpoint of two eclipses during the final two weeks of April.

 

The combined effects of so much focused celestial energy compressed within two weeks indicates completions and new beginnings both globally and individually as we experience the energies of all four seasons within a single month.

Stillwaters Astrology – April 2014

April 5th: Venus enters Pisces.  The planet of beauty, love, and relationships joins Mercury, Chiron, and Neptune in the transcendent sign of Pisces bringing a welcome soothing quality to an otherwise intense month of April.

April 7th: Mercury enters Aries.  The planet of communications picks up its pace as it departs sensitive Pisces and enters the aggressive fire sign of Aries.  Mercury will receive an up close preview to report to us as it aspects the key Cardinal Grand Cross players of Jupiter, Uranus, Pluto, and Mars from April 14th – 16th.  Those with planets or chart angles between 11 to 15 degrees in the Cardinal signs of Aries, Cancer, Libra, or Capricorn will be most affected by April’s Cardinal Grand Cross.

April 14th: Pluto retrogrades in Capricorn.  The planet of transformation reverses direction on the eve of a Total Lunar Eclipse.  As Pluto steps backwards in Capricorn for the first time since April 2013 it partners with Mars already in retrograde during next week’s Cardinal Grand Cross while Jupiter and Uranus maintain their course in direct forward motion.

April 15th: Full Moon in Libra/Aries Total Lunar Eclipse.  Today’s Total Lunar Eclipse is analogous to the April 15th, 1995 Lunar Eclipse that preceded the catastrophic bombing of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma within four days on the morning of April 19th, 1995. Easter arrives this year on Sunday, April 20th, 2014, so it’s wise to be very conscious in activities with so many unpredictable collective dynamics during the second half of April.

April 19th: Sun enters Taurus. The Sun arrives in the earthy fixed sign of Taurus on the eve of Easter just in time to provide some ballast and grounding for the closest alignment of the initiatory Cardinal Grand Cross during the next four days.

April 23rd: Mercury enters Taurus. Just as the Cardinal Grand Cross completes its peak performance (including an exact 90 degree square aspect between Uranus and Pluto on April 21st), Mercury lends support to the Sun in Taurus by helping citizens of the global village return to terra firma and adjust to April’s celestial currents.

April 28th: New Moon in Taurus Solar Eclipse.  April concludes with a Solar Eclipse in the earth sign of Taurus. After the transformational events of the past four weeks we now arrive at an opportune time to sow seeds for new beginnings.

stillwaters_image-209x179

Lee, founder of Stillwaters Astrology, is an intuitive astrologer of 23 years, providing expert astrology readings. Astrological services include natal charts, relationship compatibility through synastry and composite charts, personal life timing through transits, progressions, solar returns, and relocation astrology for changes in residence or travel.   http://stillwatersastro.com/ 

Listen to What you Say

by @candesscampbell

Although I love social media, when using it, we often make connections that are more about quantity than quality. Hopefully, the relationships you create can meet your emotional needs as well as your other needs.

When you are actually in the presence of someone you can deepen the communication. Deepening relationships is important to emotional health. What happens is, when you let people get to know you, you begin to know yourself. When you hear yourself share, you hear yourself share!

IMG_0862

When I taught my Intuitive Mastery Class yesterday, I heard myself say, “I don’t let many people work in my energy field. Not all healers are the same.” We were talking about Reiki and other forms of energy healing. As I thought about it later, I realized that I sounded judgmental and I decided to look at whether I was being judgmental, protective of my students, or both. What I could have said was, “when you study to become an energy healer or a Reiki practitioner, it is important you do the emotional work and learn to keep your energy field clean. Also, when receiving energy work, discern whether or not the energy healer is the best fit for you.” These statements would have been more positive.  Listening to myself when teaching assisted me in taking inventory of my attitude and speaking in a clear, loving manner.

Another incidence was in conversation with a dear friend of mine. She asked me if I realized I said, “do you know what I mean?” over and over. I began listening for this and had a difficult time hearing it. When we Skyped for an hour one day, she pointed it out to me. I said it so many times it was nauseating! I began to listen to myself and hopefully have learned not to keep asking, “Do you know what I mean!”

Listen to yourself and share with me on my Facebook blog posts!

5 Love Languages to better Communication

by @candesscampbell

Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages teaches us to understand what makes us feel loved and what makes our loved ones feel loved. The five languages are 1) Words of Affirmation 2) Quality Time 3) Gifts 4) Acts of Service and 5) Physical Touch.

Have you ever had a friend who continually is asking for validation? A current or past love who is always touching you as you walk by, rubbing your shoulders, cuddling when you watch a movie? Someone who shops and is buying themselves gifts all the time? These may be clues to their love language.

IMG_0920

If your mother’s love language is quality time, getting her a gift certificate for massage would not excite her the way taking her to an off-Broadway play would.

If you have a friend whose love language is Acts of Service, making her a book of coupons for services such as babysitting or yard work may be more important to her than getting her a new scarf.

If your loved one’s first love language is physical touch, you may want to plan a quiet evening alone and give each other foot rubs with a sensual essential oil.

You can take an online test at http://fivelovelanguages.com/ to find out your own love language. Let your family and friends know what your love language is and in doing this you may be able to explore theirs as well.

You may find you score high on a few love languages. Let your loved ones know this and how they would express this to you.  My highest score is Acts of Service, although Quality Time and Physical Touch are close behind.  When I think of this I remember a boyfriend who built a fence around my yard and how loved I felt. More recently friends wrote reviews for my book and it was the greatest expression of love they could have given me. The photo is of my dear friend David Sandoval, M.D., an immunologist, who wrote an incredible review that is now on the back of my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.