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Commitment

by @candesscampbell

“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

As stated in the beginning of this year, my word for 2014 is Relationships. This year, my commitment has been to come closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.

pigpenThe reality is, when you are in relationship, and especially when you create a new intimate relationship, all the unfinished emotional business is right in your face. It reminds me of the “PigPen” character from Charlie Brown, except the dust and dirt is literally right in your face!

 

You have to learn to set boundaries, compromise, be compassionate, communication clearly, understand yours is not the only perspective and the list is nearly endless.

Even more than that, when you are in an intimate relationship, it is necessary to become vulnerable. Of course, it is best to choose a partner who is safe so you can be vulnerable! Most of us have been hurt in the past. Staying in “present time” with your new love is important. It is not helpful to treat your current partner as if she or he is going to behave like the one who cheated on you, could not communicate at all, or had a slight attachment disorder and played “come here, go away!”

So a few things to think about in your relationships.

1. You will tend to be happier if you don’t fall in love with potential. When you are evaluating your choices around relationship, ask yourself if you would be happy with this person long term, even if she or he did not change anything at all. Most likely other people don’t change just because we want them to.

2. Speak up in the beginning of the relationship and let your needs be known. Many people don’t rock the boat for fear the other person will leave or not like them; especially in the beginning excitement of the relationship. Tell your partner who you are, what you want and be real about it. Too often I see people keep quiet and then either become angry when the other person doesn’t know what they want. They expect the one they love to be a mind reader. Then they either blow up on the outside and become angry and argumentative or on the inside and become ill and/or passive aggressive. If they leave when you communicate, they are not a good fit. You deserve to be loved for who you are.

3. Opposites may attract, but in the long run, if you don’t have the same interests, it is difficult to stay connected. If you are single and looking for a relationship: look in the places that you already go.

4. And lastly, when your relationship is with your family – understand neutrality and amusement. When there is conflict, see your family from a neutral place. It is not helpful to try to change them or get them to see things your way. Who has been able to change you and change how you think by telling you over and over. Be amused at how they choose to live their life and focus back on yourself and create happiness in your own life.

Commitment

by @candesscampbell

“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” 
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

Relationships may be the most important aspect of your life. This year, my commitment is and has been to bring myself closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.

Truly, I understand with relationships there are so many components. We have to learn to set healthy boundaries, know when to compromise, practice compassion, learn to have clear communication, and to understand it really is all about perspective. The list is nearly endless. Stay tuned as I share with you my process (probably similar to yours,) in the area of relationships.

Often we become inspired by and motivated by the process of others. Join me in exploring and creating healthy relationships.

 

Commitment

by @candesscampbell

“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” 
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

As stated in the last blog, my word for 2014 is Relationships. This year, my commitment is to bring myself closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.

IMG_0027

Truly, I understand with relationships there are so many components. There is setting boundaries, compromise, compassion, clear communication, perspective and the list is nearly endless. In this 30 day Blog Challenge, I will share with you about my process (probably similar to yours,) in the area of relationships.

 Hope you have chosen a word for this year as well. It can be one to focus upon to joyfully bring into your life or to focus upon and create a growth spurt. Music was an expansive word for me in 2013. I welcome Relationships in 2014, to challenge me to grow.

Changing Beliefs in the New Year

by @candesscampbell

As we think about New Year’s Resolutions, it seems to me in order to end the year with the desires we chart at the beginning of the year, we need to change our beliefs. Valerie Lipstein, a Results Specialist, Certified Coach and Consultant has agreed to share with us about changing Beliefs!

Valerie, there are so many people today who are hoping to make changes in their lives by changing their beliefs. I understand you teach about changing beliefs. What do you teach?

I love this topic and believe it’s one of the biggest stumbling blocks to our success.  Our beliefs are so powerful and they affect around 80% of our behavior and the results we get.   In fact, the Law of Cause and Effect says that our results are reflective of our thinking yet many still believe that their results are the cause of some outside force or circumstance. It is true that many people want to make changes, however without knowing about and learning how to re-program the subconscious mind imprinting it with what they really desire, most people do not change. They become frustrated and look at outside circumstances as the culprit.

You must understand the concepts first and then have strategies and practices to shift outdated, ineffective and destructive paradigms.   Thinking authentically and asking empowering questions are two powerful strategies.  Most people think shallow thoughts and their results in life are reflective of this.

Situations occur all the time. We often label them “good” or “bad.”  We are unhappy when things seem bad yet once we get in harmony with the immutable laws of the universe we realize that situations are really neutral.  It’s our surface mind that attaches the labels which can keep us in our prisons; all the while we only need to push the door open and walk outside.

We look at our beliefs and challenge the dis-empowering ones. We really live in an abundant universe. To know this truth and live from it is very powerful and will create success. It is a practice and takes discipline. There is not a lack of resources on this planet, yet there are millions who live in poverty; all the while abundance exists.  The problem is with distribution, awareness, and perhaps greed.

In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles speaks about this being the hardest work we ever can do, “To think what you want to think is to think TRUTH regardless of appearances….To think according to appearances is easy; to think truth regardless of appearances is laborious and requires the expenditure of more power than any other work man is called upon to perform.”

My mentor, Mary Morrissey, says that “we don’t deny the facts; we deny the facts to control us.”  When we allow the outside circumstances to control how we feel and act we are dis-empowered.

Many people do not have a direction for their lives, living by default doing what they have always done yet not really thriving.  It’s like sleep walking through life.  I experienced this for almost a decade until my wake-up call.

I support people to get a crystal clear vision of the life they would love to live and support them to get their results.  Success starts with a strong desire for something.  We look at longings and discontent and start there as these are powerful signals that a person is out of alignment with their true nature. We look at 5 domains: Financial well-being, spirituality, relationships, career/creativity and health/well-being.

What are the most important behaviors to assure that changing one’s beliefs can impact their lives on a daily basis?

  • Foremost, pay attention to what you are paying attention to.  Our subconscious mind reads our attention as our intention.  We will create our results from this mode.
  • Be in a structure of support, it is very difficult to do this work without support.  Mastermind groups, mentoring, being around people of increase awareness
  • Study daily and be a life long learner-successful people are open and receptive to new ideas and are willing to challenge themselves
  • Practice Gratitude-gratitude is at the heart of successful people’s lives.  This is not kindergarten gratitude for things we have or when things are good.  This is gratitude in all situations, which is transforming
  • Have a daily practice to quiet the mind-Intuition can only be accessed when we are open and receptive.

What is the belief you changed that had the biggest impact in your life?

I was living my life by default in 2005 and felt stuck. On the one hand I had been studying spiritual and personal growth principles and had made some advancement. Yet, I did not fully grasp the concept of how powerful our habitual thinking can be.  I was working as a Social Worker at a state agency, making good money with great medical benefits. I looked successful and felt horrible.  I was living for Fridays and dreading Mondays. Being raised in a family where safety and security were valued over passion and creativity, I adopted this belief. My parents were products of the depression. You stay at your job even if you don’t like it because you get that weekly paycheck.  My rationale mind didn’t agree, yet my subconscious mind ruled.  The belief was affecting my whole life, yet I didn’t know it.  All I knew was that I was unhappy and felt STUCK.  I had lost my passion for social work yet I had excuses and rationalizations for staying.

Bob Proctor said, “You can’t get out of a prison unless you know you are in one.”  It took a life changing phone call to snap me out of my prison. My best friend I had known since I was 17 died suddenly, she was only 52.  Susan was living from her passion, however, when she died.  I had a choice; I knew intuitively I had to take it or I would continue to live in my prison. My prison was my thinking.  Once I changed my thinking, realizing that I could create a life I loved and did not have to “settle”, my whole world changed.  Now I do work that I love, making a difference in the world by supporting others to live from their passion.  Most days I wake up and can honestly say, “I really love my life.”  What a gift!  I am so grateful for the opportunity I was given to begin again.

What services do you have available to assist others in this important practice?

I offer individual and group coaching programs. They include Think & Grow Rich Masterminds, The DreamBuilder™, Working with the Law™ and Into Your Genius™.  Additional services include quarterly seminars and motivational speaking.

You can reach Valerie at

Phone: 509-869-0255

Email: info@inspiredlivingforyou.com

Website: www.inspiredlivingforyou.com