mind – Page 4

Getting through your Thick Skull!

January 9, 2014 by @candesscampbell

“I think it was when I ran into Kerouac and Burroughs – when I was 17 – that I realized I was talking through an empty skull… I wasn’t thinking my own thoughts or saying my own thoughts.”

– Allen Ginsberg

“I can’t get it through your thick skull,” a character on a TV show says. What does it mean? Being a writer, I often listen for sayings and I wonder where they came from.

Have you ever talked with someone and you shared with her as clearly as you can, and when she responded, what she said had nothing to do with what you said?

Communication can be difficult when your head is full of your own thoughts. You are stuck in your own perspective and you can’t seem to find room for how anyone else sees the world.

What happens for all of us is we tend to defend ourselves by taking a stand on something. We see it our way, and close down our minds to other possibilities. In part, this can be a survival tool; to not become so sensitive to all that is happening around, and to just focus on our task. In relationship though, this can be frustrating and derisive. Have you ever heard two people sharing with each other and you could see both sides, but they could not see the others point at all?

I remember an old 1970’s TV episode of All in the Family, with Archie and Edith Bunker. In this episode, they were discussing politics. Archie was irate when he found out Edith had voted for the opposing candidate from Archie’s. All he could see was his vote didn’t count. She had cancelled it out. They went round and round and he could not understand her vote had nothing to do with his. He would never understand this of course.

We all have this tendency to “have a thick skull” at times. Being a reader, I love seeing the world from other people’s perspective, especially other cultures. How I am in close relationship, well, that may be a different story.

The goal of course is to try to see situations from the other person’s perspective. This can be done in the privacy of your own mind. You don’t have to give up your position. Once you do practice seeing the other point of view though, it becomes easier. You don’t have to agree with the opposing view, but being open to hearing it and understanding why one would see it that way helps strengthen relationship.

Since I mentioned liking to read books that take on a different perspective, I’ll share three of my favorites. Enjoy!

Poisonwood

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

Clearing your Space and Mind

September 18, 2013 by @candesscampbell

Clearing Your Space and Mind

Have you ever noticed that after clearing off your desk or cleaning out your purse or briefcase, you feel a lot more organized? Do you notice that you think more clearly? It is true that your inner mind reflects your outer environment, and your external environment affects your mind. Feng Shui experts teach about the flow of energy and how the placement of objects can affect your life and your health. The chi, or life force, gets stuck, and it can create an imbalance or even illness.

Several years ago, my former husband and I were looking for a home to buy. Our vision was a country home near a source of water. One home we looked at was sitting in a narrow valley between two mountains nearby. When I looked at the placement of the house, I thought energy would get stuck between the two mountains and whoever lived in that house would most likely get sick. I asked the realtor why the couple was selling. He shared with us that both people who lived there were ill and had to move closer to their children. It is important that energy be able to flow and not become stagnant. Sometimes, clutter can stop the movement of energy as well.

Have you ever found out that you bought two or more of the same book, forgetting you already bought it, yet never reading it? Do you have several of the same items or many items that you don’t use? Does the clutter make it difficult to find anything? How about technology? Do you know how to use all the features of your camera, smartphone and computer? Are you so overwhelmed with your electronic toys that you can’t remember how to use them? Maybe you can’t even find them!

The concept of “less is more” does not only mean using what you have, but also learning to live within your means! When you make purchases, focus on quality, not quantity. Use what you have before you buy something new.

Now is the time to make the commitment to clear your space. Notice what you use easily, without effort and regularly. A good rule of thumb is if you don’t use it or love it, give it away or sell it. You can begin by going through your home, room-by-room, and finding three items each day that you really don’t use or need. Create two piles, one “give away” pile and one “sell” pile. If the object is not worth much, you can save money and time by just giving it away to a charity. If you have a business, you can even write the donation amount off on your taxes.

Opportunity

1. Stop right now and set your kitchen timer or watch for 15 minutes. Pick an area of your house that needs some organization. Choose a drawer, bookshelf or even the kitchen table. Chose something that is manageable in a short amount of time. Organize and come back.

That felt great, didn’t it? When you take a 15 or 20-minute time interval, it makes organizing manageable, and the reward is great.

2. Sit and visualize your home. List in your journal the areas you need to clear out. Assign an order to the list and make a commitment to begin the clearing. Start with small areas so you feel successful. Next, pick an area where you feel the most overwhelmed by clutter. Break it down into smaller areas. It can be helpful to have paper bags or plastic containers to put items in that will take longer, such as paperwork or items you might find in a junk drawer. Clear the area, using one bag or container at a time, and either put the things away, give them away or add them to the “sale” pile.

Hint: When organizing paperwork, you can bring the bag into the living room and go through it when you are watching TV, listening to music or at the kitchen table when you are talking with your loved ones.

3. If the idea of touching the mess or moving anything is too much for you, take your journal and use these sentence stems:

I am most overwhelmed when . . .
I feel secure when . . .
If I were organized, I’d be . . .
A simple step I can make today is . . .

4. Call a friend or a family member who can come over and be with you when you organize. This shared energy, even if they don’t help, makes the task seem easier.

5. Set up a family or neighborhood yard sale. As you do this, you will find it easier and easier to let go of items you don’t use. Allow someone to be your muse for organization.
And last, and maybe the best for you, hire a home organizer or even a housekeeper to help you begin this process. It will be well worth the money spent.

Evaluating your Situation!

January 16, 2013 by @candesscampbell

Into the New Year, most people have taken a look back and reflected on the past year. Some have made resolutions and some just go forward with hope. Rather than making resolutions, I pick one focus for the year, one word to remember and increase in my life.

One year the word was money and I became more responsible in my spending, saving and earnings. That year I increased my income by 25%. I read money books, brought my attention to my habits and envisioned and created abundance.

Last year my focus was on food. I watched “foody” shows on television and regularly added nutritionally healthy foods to my diet. I drank green smoothies and my body glowed from all the enzymes. I increased my awareness on how foods affect my health (and my mood!)

This year my focus is music. I have a Martin 000M and my plan is to learn to play my guitar, listen to a variety of music throughout the year, attend concerts and experience music as a healing force in my life!

Speaking of a healing force in my life. I just published my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.

The first chapter focuses on Evaluating Your Situation. Whether it is emotional or physical pain, there is always an emotional component. I find that when people tend to focus on the past, they suffer from depression and when they focus on the future, it creates anxiety. On my website candesscampbell.com under Books and Self-Healing Tools you will find self-screening tests. One is for depression and the other for anxiety. If you find that you struggle with either of these, getting professional help is important.

Sometimes you live your life day to day without much self-awareness. It is helpful to look at whether or not you are getting your needs met. William Glasser, MD, a psychiatrist wrote a book called Choice Theory. In the book he talked about people having Four Basic Needs. The needs he lists are for 1) Love & Belonging, 2) Power and Worth, 3) Freedom and 4) Fun. These are beyond your need for survival.

Think about your life and what the main need is in your life. In your journal, write down your main need. Then write down friends and family you spend most of your time with. List some activities you engage in on a regular basis. Are you getting your needs met with these friends, family members and your activities?

For example I list as one of my loved ones, my Cairn Terrior/mix Domingo. The needs I get met by Domingo are Love and Belonging and Fun. When I image an oval shape and think about how full I am from my relationship with Domingo, I see the oval being maybe a third full. This means I need more people and activities to get my Love and Belonging and Fun needs met.

When I first did this exercise I listed out my friends. A few of the friends I spent most of my time with did not meet my needs at all. I found one friend met most of my needs. I realized I leaned too much on one friend and needed to create more relationships in my life where I felt more alive, full, and got my needs met. I also realized I needed to let some friends go. With self-awareness, I saw how drained I became after spending time with some friends.

Try this yourself. You may be amazed at how simple changes in your life can shift your emotional for physical pain!

Also, in evaluating your situation, it is important to look at the interrelatedness between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. You can find a Total Behavior Map here to help you. http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-tools/70-2) On this map you can write out in the center what need you want to get met. Write down a situation that has been difficult for you regarding this need. List what you were doing, thinking and feeling. Then write again as if you were thinking something different. If you were thinking ___________, then what would you be doing or feeling?

You are an integrated being of Mind, Body and Spirit. You will notice that when you change your thinking about a situation, your feeling changes as well. You may choose to do something different and immediately your thinking changes and your feeling changes. The key here is you have 100 % control over your doing, 90 % control over your thinking and only 10 % control over your feeling. When you do or think something different – you feel better!

An example is Sarah was waiting for a phone call from Taylor to go out to dinner. (love and belonging and fun) Taylor didn’t call and Sarah thought, “I was stood up.” She started feeling angry and lost energy. Sarah began making up stories in her mind of what happened and worked herself into a frenzy.

An hour later Taylor called and said she was so sorry. She explained that she had witnessed an accident on the freeway and was pulled in by the police to share what she had seen. Taylor said she was so shaken, she didn’t even think about the dinner plans until she calmed down and realized she was hungry. She asked Sarah if she could come over, she needed a friend.

Sarah began to understand (thinking) and she empathized (feeling) with Taylor’s experience. She began cooking (doing) something to share with Taylor and prepared for her friend to arrive.

Can you see how the feelings followed the doing and thinking in this situation? You can write out some situations in your past, some times when you were really upset. Then write out what you could have done or thought differently, identifying how you would feel different.

Use your journal for this exercise and soon you’ll find you can do it quickly in your mind. So much of the emotional pain (which is under the physical pain) is manufactured in your mind. Now, you have a tool to change this!

Another tool is journaling. One situation I share in my book is for several days I found myself having a lot of pain in my shoulders. I left my office and sat down to rest and the pain was extremely disturbing. After about four days of this, I picked up my journal and began writing, “This pain in my shoulders. . .” and continued journaling for 20 minutes. What came up in my writing was a situation with one of my daughters. Once I wrote it out, the pain released immediately and was totally gone. This is a true testimony to how we carry pain in our bodies connected to our emotions!

There is so much more you can find in the book that will help you evaluate where you are and begin to move into self-healing. In February I’ll focus on Finding Your Passion!

12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine – UK

http://www.amazon.co.uk/12-Weeks-Self-Healing-Transforming-Medicine/dp/0615693822/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine – US

http://www.amazon.com/12-Weeks-Self-Healing-Transforming-Medicine/dp/0615693822/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355705809&sr=8-1&keywords=candess+campbell

Meditation

June 20, 2012 by @candesscampbell

The greatest gift I have found to develop a greater intuitive experience is meditation. It was in my meditative experience one morning I was given a specific meditation I now use.

Many of you already meditate and if you do, that is wonderful! You know the value of creating this time for yourself and the incredible connection you find with your Higher Self and the Divine. For many there is also the experience of connecting and communicating with Angels or Guides.

Many people who have tried meditation and don’t continue often think they are doing it wrong. Let me clarify some of the misconceptions. In meditation, you will not stop thinking. You have a central nervous system and therefore your brain will be thinking. What happens instead is you quiet your thoughts and rather than active thinking, you have what I call passive thinking. This means thoughts will enter and go by, but you just notice and don’t actively follow them. You can then return to your quiet mind.

I have also found people have a hard time quieting their mind when they meditate in the middle of the day or in the evening. I like to meditate first thing in the morning before leaving my bed. This allows me to tap into the wisdom of my subconscious mind and my Higher Self that has guided my dreams. Meditating in the morning also allows me to become filled with the Light of the Divine first thing in the morning!

For those who have not began the practice of meditation, here is a simple way to begin. Here is the meditation I have been given.

Set a timer to begin. This will help you to lengthen the time of your meditation.

As in other meditations, sit with your spine straight. I like to place my hands on my lap with my thumb, index and middle finger touching, facing upward.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and relax and adjust your body as needed.

Image a grounding cord such as a beam of light, a waterfall or a tree trunk going down from the base of your spine to the fiery center of Mother Earth. Release all the stress, tension and foreign energy down from the top of your head, down your face, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, upper and lower back, belly, pelvic area, hips, legs, ankles, and feet down your grounding cord.

Take another breath and bring your attention to above your head, to your crown chakra. Imagine a golden white Light spiraling down through the top of your head and spiraling in your heart. This is the spark of the Divine within you! This spiraling Light will emanate Light throughout your body and a few inches outside your body all around you.

Bring your attention to your third eye, which is between your eyes and a little above. Envision a water-blue color triangle at your third eye. Focus your attention through this triangle. Above your head about eight inches envision a burning ring of fire. This is the Eternal Flame of Isis. I share more about the triangle and the burning ring of fire when I teach intuitive reading.

Now you have the Golden Light Spiral, the Blue Triangle and the Fiery Ring of Fire set, bring your attention to your eyes. With your eyes still closed, move your eyes from right to left back and forth about 12 – 20 times. The pace is about one second for each set of from right to left and back. You can adjust this later to the best pace for yourself. This movement will be like pushing your eyes (with them closed) back and forth.

What you will notice is this takes you into a deeper into a meditative state. This increases with practice. Stop the eye movement and just be. Just notice what you experience. Stay in passive thinking and just experience and notice.

If you find you are thinking and lose the meditative sense, or you begin to come out of meditation, then use the eye movements back and forth to deepen again. This brings you back into a meditative state.

You may need to use the eye movement several times to deepen your meditation and this is fine. This takes practice, but if you commit to every day for a week, with a timer, this can change your life and increase not only your intuition, but your relationship with your Self and the Divine!

An added bonus, this eye movement is also therapeutic. It can assist in healing memories and traumas because moving your eyes from one side to the other activates the two hemispheres of the brain. When you begin your meditation you can set an intention of healing a specific situation, emotion, feeling, or thought.

Originally published in LiveEncounters

Interview with Mary Getten

November 21, 2011 by @candesscampbell

With the holidays coming we are not the only ones who are stressed. Learn from Mary Getten, an animal communicator.

Mary, I am so happy to do this interview with you. I remember many years ago talking to you about my miniature poodle, Friday. As an animal communicator, you gave me so much information about him. I was so excited I signed up and took your class!

Mary, what is an Animal Communicator?

Mary: An animal communicator is someone who is able to telepathically communicate with your animal. In this mode, we connect energetically mind-to-mind or heart-to-heart with the animal and act as a link between you and your pet, so in essence, we have a three-way conversation. Some communicators do this in person, but most of us work at a distance on the telephone. Animal communicators might get mental pictures, hear words, get emotional or physical feelings, an intuitive sense of knowing, or all of these during a consultation. This is an innate ability that we are all born with but have been socialized out of using. With a little training and a lot of practice, anyone can regain this skill to communicate with all life.

What issues might arise that contacting you or another animal communicator would be helpful?

Mary: I work with people who are having behavior issues like barking, fighting, soiling in the house, fear, anxiety – anything that you would like to change. I have many calls about health issues, if the animal has pain, why it’s not eating, and sometimes for insight when the vet can’t figure out what’s wrong. I deal with questions about death and dying, upcoming changes in the household, to find out if the animal would like another animal friend, or just to check-in and see if there is anything the pet needs or wants. It is my job to understand what is going on from the animal’s perspective and then work with the person to see how they can resolve any issues. Sometimes it involves negotiation and problem solving, but it always creates more harmony and understanding in their relationship.

How might we better communicate with our pets?

Mary: When you speak to your animal, always talk about what you DO want, never about what you don’t want. Animals are reading the mental pictures we unconsciously create when we speak, so if we talk about what we don’t want, we are picturing the unwanted behavior. Speak slowly and hold a mental picture of what you DO want, and your animal will understand – encourage them to chew on their toys instead of telling them to not chew on the drapes.

I have a Cairn terrier mix named Domingo. I know he stresses easily, especially around the holidays when there is fireworks. What do you suggest we do for our pets to help them deal with the stress of the holidays?

Mary: If you know that your animal gets stressed during holidays, it’s important to think ahead and come up with a plan. I highly recommend doing emotional release techniques such as EFT or the Emotion Code for any issues that you already know about. This will help to release the emotions permanently. You might also give your pet flower essences that address their specific issues (fear, shyness, etc) or Rescue Remedy for general calming. It is also very important that you explain what will be happening over the holiday (strangers in the house, loud noises, etc.) and reassure your animal that they will be happy and safe during this time. Show them a mental video of what to expect and be sure to show them happy and calm in the video. And above all else, keep yourself calm and your animal will follow suit.

When I was in Hawaii in 2008, I swam in the middle of the ocean with about 40 spinner dolphins. It was the most incredible experience I have had in my life! Do you do any workshops with dolphins?

Mary: I LOVE dolphins and every year I take a lucky group of people to swim with wild dolphins in the Bahamas. My next trip is May 13-19, 2012. All the details are on my website at http://www.rockisland.com/~mg/pages/dolphin.html. I also co-created a computer based training DVD called Whale Communicators, that is more than 5 hours of instruction about whales and dolphins, animal communication and how to connect with these amazing beings. You can find out more and order it at http://whalecommunicators.com/dvd.html.

What classes do you have available and what would one expect to learn in your class?

Mary: In my animal communication classes, you will learn how to open your receivers so that you can hear/see/feel what animals are communicating. I also teach classes to connect telepathically and communicate with nature. I offer a one-day workshop on Animal Death and Spirituality where we explore animals’ views on death and connect with our pets in the spirit realm. I also teach a workshop on using Flower Essences with animals. There is information about hosting a workshop in your area at the end of the workshop page on my website.

For all of us that are animal lovers, you offer so much. Thank you so much for this interview.

You can find out more information about Mary Getten and her workshops, trips and services at: http://www.MaryGetten.com