Oprah

I Have Something to Say #metoo and #timesup!

January 17, 2018 by @candesscampbell

This year’s Golden Globes were inspirational and empowering for women. Oprah’s speech which included the #metoo and #timesup movement was pioneering. I loved seeing the women bond together and wear black in support. I especially loved seeing the men stand in unity with the women.

https://youtu.be/fN5HV79_8B8

I am 61 years old. At age 14 when waiting for a bus, I took a ride with a man who offered. Rather than being kidnapped I jumped from the truck as he turned which resulted in my having a head injury and being in a coma for two weeks (having a NDE) and having a Priest give me last rights. At age 15 after months of being groomed by a 23-year-old married man, my first sexual experience was one of being raped. At age 16 I was fired from a nursing home job where I moped floors because the administration was uncomfortable with the elderly men looking at me. At age 18, I was a single mom with two children. At Thanksgiving everyone at the department store where I worked was offered a free turkey. My boss offered me a turkey if I slept with him. No thanks. And there is more . . .

In my early 20s I was on the front lines of the local feminist movement in an attempt to free myself from a battering relationship that had gone on for years. I think you get the picture. Our environment and our experiences shape us.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Help women who cannot help themselves! https://www.gofundme.com/timesup/” quote=”Empower women and share your support! https://www.gofundme.com/timesup/”]

My focus has not been hateful or angry at men, but has been about empowering and coming together. My response was to go to community college and become a substance abuse counselor, one of the first in the nation. While working in a Federal prison where I counseled clients, I continued my education. I received my Master’s Degree from Gonzaga University in Counseling Psychology and became a mental health counselor. I have spent the last 35 years, more than half my life, sitting in sessions and groups counseling and helping others heal from their wounds. Many of these women have been tortured and nearly killed at the hands of their boyfriends and husbands. Don’t feel sorry for me. These memories have been healed and empowered me to help others!

I’m sharing this story because although it is Celebrities who are bringing the #metoo and #timesup movement to the forefront of our minds, many women don’t have the resources to make changes. I channeled my pain into education which was healing for me, but that is not how many women respond. They become paralyzed, scared and often become emotionally or physically ill.

I love that Women Power is finally at the front of our consciousness. NOW, let’s bring in the men that we love to support us. We don’t want to swing the other way and polarize the relationships between Women and Men. Embrace the men in your life. Invite them to support you. Allow them to stay empowered and to empower the women that they love. Much of my own healing was in the arms of men who loved me.

Now, I understand – it is not all women and all men. Men have been and continue to be victimized too. Speak up about abuse. Create a safe place for others to share with you.

There are many conversations to have. Some abuse is in the workplace. Some is in the home. Some is random by predators. Some women choose to stay for whatever reason. Shaming women who stay is not okay. PTSD is real and paralyzing. They need support!

We are all in this together.

If you are angry, hurt, victimized and wounded – get into counseling and heal yourself.

You deserve it!

Please donate to help the women who don’t have resources to help themselves!

https://www.gofundme.com/timesup/

Match a Master!

September 28, 2014 by @candesscampbell

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

Wayne W. Dyer

When I was taking classes in Meditation and Healing at the Church of the Divine Man many years ago, they taught about “matching” other people’s energy. An example is, if you are around someone who is angry, you may match him or her and become angry. When you are around someone peaceful, you can match him or her and become peaceful. I have been teaching this in my counseling practice for years and helped clients understand they can change how they feel by becoming aware and making choices.

I remember reading a study in one of my books (which I will find to update this blog) that had three plants. One plant was the control and the plant was watered without any variables. The second plant was watered with water that was held by someone very happy and positive for a period of time. The third plant was watered with water that was held for a period of time by someone who was clinically depressed. Of course, the result was the plant watered by the person who was happy and positve grew the most. The plant watered by the person who was depressed had stunted growth. The control plant grew somewhere in the middle of the others.

Quantum physics has taught us that everything is energy, including humans, and it makes sense we affect each other in subtle and powerful ways. When I feel blue, a little grumpy, I will put on a CD by someone like Wayne Dyer to raise my mood, to shift my energy. Conversely, when I binge on old country music from my childhood, such as listening to Sunday Morning Coming Down by Kris Kristofferson (whose work I love), I have to pick myself up off the floor!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTJiW_7S2Dk

What inspired me to write this blog today, a re-write from a former blog is I had a conversation with someone yesterday who is thinking of putting his 15 year old in a residential program for mental illness. The child has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which is treatable and fairly rare. I know this child and it became clear to me that this particular sensitive child would not do well there. The facility has many children who are depressed, and believe me, my heart goes out to them. Putting a child who is not depressed though, one with an anxiety disorder and who is sensitive is not the right move. The child will match the other’s energy and may come out of this long term care program worse than going in.

Whenever you have a situation that you don’t know how to handle, becoming educated is so helpful. I will write another time about OCD, but if you know someone with this disorder, I highly recommend Loving Someone with OCD: Help for you and your Family.

What you can do when you want to get energized when you are feeling low is to find those who you admire or vibrate at a higher level than you do. You will know this by how you feel when you are around them. For instance, sometimes I will watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. When she interviews leaders in spirituality such as Eckhart Tolle or Marianne Williamson, I cannot help but feel more peaceful and hopeful. It is a passive way of shifting how you think and feel. You can match their energy!

My focus in my work for years has been to empower others to access their Essence. My teaching are to assist them to access their own intuition and to realize who they truly are and to manifest their dreams in their lives. You too can match others who lift and elevate you and stay connected to powerful, manifesting energy.

Please take some time to think about who energizes you.

Who helps you become your better Self? Who leads the way and makes it easier for you to excel and manifest your dreams? Think about who it is that drains your energy and leaves you feeling bad about yourself. Sometimes we can’t change who we are around, but we can use those who are motivating and inspiring to bring us back into balance.

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Thanks – giving for healing the past!

December 2, 2013 by @candesscampbell

This year, after a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with friends and family, the next day I decided to rest and watch a movie. I chose the movie 42, about Jackie Robinson. Several times during the movie I found myself not only in tears, but actually sobbing; what Oprah referred to as the “ugly cry.” Spontaneously, I bawled, especially during scenes where Jackie was supported by others having been signed by the Montreal Royals and later the Dodgers.

My extreme emotional response to this movie reminded me of when I watched The Butler. It showed a more extensive historic view of the United States during difficult times. Both these movies, I realized, stirred up some childhood memories. Never before had I understood I experienced a slight PTSD response (post traumatic stress disorder) from being raised with a father who was racist.

Don’t get me wrong, I adored my dad. He and I were close, he was my main nurturer, and I loved him deeply. He was of German heritage, born in the 30’s in Emmitsburg, Maryland. As a young man he spent a lot of time in Baltimore. It was a different time then and he was a product of his culture. He was not only prejudice about African Americans; he was prejudice about many cultures.

When I was growing up, just like now, I was very sensitive. Being an “old soul,” even then, I was aware of all of humanity being “One.” I understood all humans were equal, living together in one world. I saw the injustice of how some people were treated and how they did not have the rights they deserved. I understood we were all related to each other and affected each other. I look back now and see my awareness was foreign to most of my family and my peers.

One day, when my father was in his late 60’s, I went to visit him. He looked at me and just spurted out, “I’m racist.” With a surprised and curious look, I took a moment and then responded, “Dad, did you just learn a new word?” With a big grin on his face, he said “yes!” I had known he was racist for many years and it appeared he just found the group, the tribe, to which he belonged.

Today, we are all the ages we have ever been. Every experience we have had is active within us, and we can look through the eyes of all the ages we have been. Having watched these two movies, The Butler and 42, I realized the power that movies have to heal the past. Many people had the opportunity to heal whatever came up for them through this powerful media experience.

Being a mental health counselor, I have spent many years clearing my past and becoming healthier in the present. I am so grateful to have found this buried wound and the subsequent healing. Whatever your brand of politics and how you feel Obama is doing at running our great country, today I am grateful we have an African American president. I wish my dad were alive to experience this historical event. It might have been a healing for him too!