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The Third Chakra – It’s a Self-Esteem Issue!

by @candesscampbell

Are you still feeling like you’ve been ‘hit in the gut’ by Covid and your life lately is coming apart? I get it! If you’ve read my previous post which was about a year ago, I want to say I am grateful to be back part time! I’m caught between wanting to share about MECFS and be understanding and compassionate about others due to the symptoms of Covid and how it hangs on.

It has been a time for us to pull in, sort out and make big decisions. I’m sure by now you have already done some downsizing, or clearing out. If you or a loved one has been ill, you have probably had to rearrange your life somewhat and also find a way to balance the budget.

Out of the suffering, we often find a way to get through it and to re-create what we want in our lives. What I have noticed most, is that the fear of change or letting go, or disappointing someone can hold you hostage. I remember as I started to spiral downward slowly, I kept holding onto my counseling practice terrified of disappointing my clients. I pushed until I couldn’t anymore and ended up bedridden for about four months. I could barely eat a few bites of apple sauce. All the things I had to do, I couldn’t do. I would faint when I stood up and it hurt all over my body when I stressed. Now I am mostly housebound, but happy and love my home, my yard and the river.

Recently I had been trying to change websites and I can’t say much more because it has been crazy. It has cost me about $10,000 that I didn’t have to spend. A company I had believed in since my first introduction to Brendon Burchard was so full of network marketing hype, It was crazy making. Someone with great skill and whom I trusted deeply and paid well, was apparently on a different journey.

One of the symptoms I have since the ME crash, is extreme ADD. My brain is healing from the injury and it seems rebooting itself. The ADD most often keeps me from going from thought to action or thought to note.

Everything felt like it was coming apart and I actually felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. I cried (a good thing) and allowed myself to go deep into the pain. I reached out to 3 people and my youngest daughter and grandson came over and ‘babysat’ me for awhile. I realized that my identity and self-esteem were connected to my healing work.

Hitting that bottom helped me realize this is my time to reassess what I want and do what I haven’t been able to do. Having had two children by age 18, and working since I was 15, it was time to make changes.

So far, the biggest change has been thinking about what I would do if I didn’t have to work. Well, of course, what I want to do is go to the 400 homeless people here in Spokane and see who is interested in learning Reiki. I would teach them so they could heal themselves and others. Now, occasionally (I get out about 2x a month) I sit with a homeless person and chat. Other than that, I am working on my co-dependency with the birds, Lucy the neighborhood turkey, or the bevy of deer that own the valley.

Take a minute to collect your journal and treat yourself to an appetizing beverage. Image yourself alone, with no responsibility. Where would you live? Would you work? etc. Set the timer and write for 10 or more minutes.  Take a moment to breathe and then read your writing. Whether the Nay-Sayer showed up in your writing or in your head, that part of you that squashes your dreams and sabotages your joy, has got to be tamed. Notice your Nay-Sayer and challenge it in your writing. Whatever it says that is not in your best experience – call it out and stand up for yourself!

Chakra Three is about Power and Vitality! With this information you can balance yourself and empower others.

So, if you are my friend, I apologize for not getting back or connecting at all for years. I have had varied energy and have needed to learn to pace. I think of you and want to spend time together!

If you have tried to reach me for services, I am so sorry. I truly want to work with you. At this time, I need to find someone to help me set up my site with a cart, paypal, emails, calendly, etc.

Until then, so unlike the Candess who was perfect, please just email me at ccspokane@gmail.com and tell me what you would like, a reading, a DNA activation, etc. If the cart is working great! If not, I’ll send you a paypal link and we can schedule.

It feels so good to be connecting, even a little at a time. Hold your loved ones. Listen to them. You don’t have to fix them, but you can ask what they need. Be gentle with yourself.

Please share with me at the end of this blog so I know you are out there!

Replacing Shame with Compassion MECFS

by @candesscampbell

It feels so good to start feeling better after the MECFS crash! There are so many ways I understand myself and life that I didn’t before. First of all, I am shocked at my denial. Then again, I’m not. You would think I would be more aware of myself having worked as a therapist most of my life. Especially working as a chemical dependency counselor, you would think I would be the master of detecting denial. I saw it in others but could not see it in myself. I was getting “sick.”

When I was working as a counselor in a Federal prison, I used to ask my clients, “Who had the right to be angry in your family?” It really helped clients to look deeper into their family patterns. It never occurred to me to ask “Who had the right to be ill in your home?”

Bingo!  That was my mom. My compassion for my mom is exponential now. When I was younger, I was judgmental of her. She had health issues starting at age 32 which continued throughout her life until she died at age 52; her body full of cancer. 

The perfectionist, overachiever, know-it-all part of me focused on fixing my alcoholic dad, who I adored. Later I transferred this to fixing the world. I was a healer! I could not be sick! I have always thought of myself as being on the front line; what today we would call “an essential worker.” Now I understand. Not only did I need to fix everything and everyone, I also could not be sick. This codependent behavior also included not learning to receive and especially not asking for help.

It’s funny. As I write this I think about the $500 utility bill I have. I could not call to get public help unless everyone else who needed it, got theirs first. Note to self again and anyone else who does this – stop it! You have to fill up in order to give from your excess, and not from your need. I’ll sell my old computer. 

Back to denial. Once I got it, that I was ill and I was not my mom, I started to blame others. Once I got through this, I was free to look at my own behaviors. Without judgment and blame, I inventoried myself (thanks to 12 step programs) and become clear on how the MECFS affects me and how I can take better care of myself. 

As I write, I am watching the latest MECFS videos on Youtube by leaders in the field. (Edit, edit, edit, edit!!!) I am delighted to be one of many and not the problem patient that no one knows what to do with. The shame that I felt for being sick is no longer there. Interesting.  I don’t feel a need to fix people (as much) now, but rather can just sit and listen. In 2006, Dr. Al Morgan, a naturopath drew a circle and divided it like a pie. He pointed and said, this is your part, your responsibility (or something like that) and I just couldn’t hear. I could do it all!

There was a time when friends, acquaintances, etc. would call or email anytime wanting answers to their psychic questions or connect with someone on the other side. I was on call all the time. Today I love my work as a psychic medium and as an author. Being bedridden for 4 months and mostly horizontal for a few years, I am so grateful to schedule clients weekly as I can (dependent upon my brain fog, fatigue, and myalgia.) It’s the delight of my day!

Let me say that again differently. Now that I give out of my excess (as I have taught for many, many years,) when I am with a client or a group, I am so full of love and connected to Spirit. When I connect with client’s loved ones or guides, it is not unusual for me to feel so much I just cry. No pain, just pure love. 

There is so much more to share now that I am honest with myself about my health and have healed the shame. 

3 Ways to Manage Anxiety

by @candesscampbell

There are so many situations that are critical at this time. What matters first is your situation. So often our anxiety increases when we focus on the future. Depression tends to be a result of focusing on the past.

Here are 3 ways to lessen your Anxiety. Pick one and practice.

  • Write out a list of what brings you joy.
  • When you notice negative thoughts, see if you can identify the voice. Is it your dad, mom, boss, or the imaginary perfect you?
  • Journal this Soul Stem as many times as you need.  I will be happy when . . .

 

The Bully Archetype

by @candesscampbell

This blog was originally published on this site in September 2015. I thought it would be good to re-publish it. There were no changes made to the original post.

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy. You can access your natural path, heal your wounds and move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Today we will explore the Bully Archetype. It is actually situations in my own life, well situations that I am privy to, that stimulate this writing on the Bully. The scope of the Bully archetype is massive. There is bullying in the workplace, on college campuses, in schools and schoolyards and as seen in the news on a daily basis today, there are bullies attempting to take over countries!

When looking at the psyche and bullying, there is even the issue of bullying yourself and internally beating yourself up. There is so much about this archetype that can be explored. This article is taking a small slice of the issue and will focus on parents who bully their children. This may be a difficult topic to read about, but I think you will find it valuable.

Recently, when listening to others share stories, the topic of abusive yelling has surfaced over and over again. As an adult, if someone yelled at me, I would just walk away. Children don’t have the ability to do this. The response is generally to shut down and be quiet, to fight back, or to get revenge.

Photoshop Backup 7 577What is bullying and why do people bully? First of all there is a difference between bullying and having the bully archetype. There may be periods of time where someone uses bullying in his or her life and then learns skills to behave more appropriately. Having the bully archetype is when this tendency becomes a strong part of their personality. It becomes a pattern that directs their behavior in an attempt to dominate another person or ultimately, to control their own coward within.

Bullies often use threats or coercion to gain power over another. They will intimidate and be abusive. Sometimes the bully will use physical power to dominate, but here I want to look at the emotional abuse of bullying.

Children especially are vulnerable and parents, in an attempt to control them may use yelling and threatening. They may resort to name-calling, shaming, and other aggressive measures. The reality is, in their attempt to control the child, they are really only showing that they themselves are out of control.

So what happens to these children who are bullied at home? One response is to become quiet and withdraw. On the outside they may appear to become a well-adjusted, compliant child, but on the inside they have a mind of constant negative self-talk. This self-talk can be anger directed at their parent, but more often, it is directed at themselves. This internal abuse becomes a survival technique. In their own attempt at gaining some control they use self-abuse. In some cases this is not just abusive self-talk, but turns into using sharp objects to physically cut on themselves. This may be to release the pain they feel. They want to let it out. When they do this, they may think no one else can hurt them as much as they can hurt themselves. The parent’s response to this may be to use force to try to control the child even more. They blame the child (the victim of the bullying) rather than looking at and owning their own behavior.

Some children become compliant and work hard so they are not abused. These children excel in school, on the football team and become the leaders in their community. They develop manipulative skills that serve them at home and in other areas of their lives. As adults these skills can go either way. They can help them catapult to the top or eventually destroy their relationships and career.

Sometimes children end up not using their full potential. They may be extremely bright, but end up with low grades. They may have mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or behaviors such as over-eating or using drugs. Turning their fear, hurt and anger inward eats them alive. When these children become adults, these old wounds begin to surface in their relationships, their jobs, and in their health.

Another way that children survive is to rebel and fight back. What happens here is there is continual yelling, conflict and fighting between the child and the parent. It becomes a battle of the wills. The children may also run away to get away from the situation. These children often go on to bully others, including their siblings. Although they fight to gain power, ultimately the parent has the power because they control the money and the access to the child’s fun and freedom. For children, other than their need for love, their need for fun is essential. In this case the parent continues to be out of control and the child continues to suffer from emotional abuse.

Another way children respond the to bullying is to get revenge. There are several ways they do this. One is directly by breaking something of value to the parent. They may also “tell on” the parent. In this case they may tell their friends, reach out to a teacher, a neighbor, a relative or even the police. They may also share in front of others something embarrassing that the parent did. Often this is difficult for the child because, even though they are angry and feel the parent isn’t fair, they also feel at fault.

Another way they get revenge is indirectly through passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is a way that people express their anger, frustration or hostility indirectly. The child may not finish their chores or move really slowly when the parent is in a hurry. They could pick at something like a lampshade making small holes in it that are not noticeable to their dad. Children who underachieve may be being passive aggressive, especially if the parent has a high need for them to excel. Other passive aggressive behaviors are using sarcasm, being stubborn, or procrastinating. Whatever would get back at the parent without immediate repercussion gives them some sense of power.

So what should a child do when they have an abusive or bullying parent? It is important that they find a safe adult who can help them. As a reader of this article, I ask you to be aware of the children around you and to make sure that they know you are a safe adult. Talk to the children around you and get to know them. Build a rapport so they understand that you are someone they could trust and depend upon. You never know if the child is secretly suffering in her own home.

What if you find that you have the Bully Archetype fully active in your own life at this time? Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you find that you are yelling, name-calling, taking or breaking someone else’s belongings, or even pushing and shoving or other violence, it is important to get help!

There are so many resources for you. One I would suggest first is to find a counselor or a minister that you can confide in. Counselors will provide you with a safe place to learn how to manage your anger and to gain better control in your own life. If you have a child that is difficult to manage, a counselor can assist you with some parenting skills. What happens is the more out of control you feel, the more you try to solve the problem yourself and the less likely you are to resolve the issue. Remember the bully in you, the bully archetype is covering for the inner coward. It takes courage to reach out and get assistance. Seeing a counselor becomes a confidential place for you to share and it is the counselor’s job to listen, support, teach and provide resources for you.

Another resource in addition to counseling is to educate yourself about the problem. Search for books on dealing with your anger. The first step to changing a behavior is identifying it and owning it. You will be amazed at the relief you feel when you start to learn simple steps to shift the pattern that has taken over your life. If you find you are bullying someone, then you too are certainly bullying yourself in the process.

The Bully archetype may or may not be a significant archetypal pattern for you. If it is, remember archetypes cross cultures from the beginning of time and so you are not alone. This is a pattern that can be balanced. The positive attribute of the bully archetype is learning to become courageous. As you reflect, take notes on this and other archetypes you identify with. Notice what thoughts, feelings, and memories have surfaced for you when reading this article. Think about how others see you. Is there something you noticed that is blocking you from your Divine Soul Purpose?

This article was first published in Live Encounters Magazine.

 

Why Activate your DNA?

by @candesscampbell

You may wonder about DNA Activation and what it is and what happens when you get your DNA activated. I liken it to a spiritual immune builder. We have 2 strands of DNA in our physical body and up to 144 strands in our etheric body. I originally activated to 12 strands of DNA, but one day when I was in my office with a client, we simultaneously felt some energy coming down from the top of our heads.  We looked at each other and said together, “We just got activated to 144 strands of DNA!” I was surprised and later called Diane Stein, whom I had been working with after connecting with the Lords of Karma. She checked in with her guides and said yes, that is correct.

Now I tend to be grounded, have my feet on the ground, have a degree in Counseling Psychology from Gonzaga University and a doctorate in Clinical Hypnotherapy from American Pacific University, but I cannot help it  – when something spiritual happens, it happens and I follow my path and my guidance. Although many people will not believe something until it is proven with science, I am a big believer of personal experience as well. In fact, science, which I love, is finally catching up with what we have known intuitively for many years. I find I am usually many years ahead, and hope that the understanding of the etheric field and DNA strands becoming activated will be mainstream information in the next few years.

At this time, it is important for me to assist others in becoming activated. Since my work with the Lords of Karma, DNA Activationand the Essential Energy Balancingworkshops I have facilitated, my life has been incredible.  I am able to manifest easily and it is much easier to move from negativity or fear into peace, love and forgiveness.

The DNA Activation and Essential Energy Balancing Workshops are not magic, but they do clear the karma and bring more Light into your body so that you can do the daily work of changing behaviors, practicing love and kindness, and finding joy and peace.  Treat yourSelf!