relationship – Page 2

The Queen Archetype

December 6, 2015 by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are queen, mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy.

The shadow aspects of our archetypes are fed by our paradoxical relationship to power. We are as intimidated by being empowered as we are by being disempowered.

– Caroline Myss

Whenever I explore an archetype, it is fun to write about one where I have personal experience. In this case, I am writing about my friend’s archetype.

Several years ago at a Conference with Brendon Burchard in Santa Clara, I met an incredible woman, Katie Cavanaugh. We spent the whole workshop learning together and getting to know each other. It was a collaborative relationship made in heaven. We decided to be business mentors for each other and have Skyped every week since.

In addition to focusing on business, we became fast friends. In 2012, she hosted and facilitated the Healer’s Gathering Workshop at the HarmonyHouse in Sisters, Oregon. I was delighted to be invited to be a keynote speaker. I decided to facilitate a DNA Activation with this group of 100 participants. She invited me to come and stay with her in the guest room (which is now called Candess’s room!)

As the pre-event unfolded, her house began to fill up with other guests and eventually I was moved to a blow up bed in her office. I found myself reacting, feeling hurt and angry. It just happened that my friend Cheyenne from Colorado was visiting her friend near Sisters and I was able to meet with her and talk. Cheyenne and I have known each other for many years and she is like a sister to me. She helped me realize that my control issue here was a safety issue and these kinds of reactions generally manifest for me in my own home and wherever I sleep.

Before the event I felt I needed to meet with Katie and clear what happened for me. I invited Katie to have lunch with Cheyenne, her friend and I so we could talk. The three of us were seated at a patio table as Katie walked in. She was majestic in her presence, carrying herself with confidence and grace. She sported a large smile and introduced herself and the whole ambience changed. Cheyenne said as soon as she saw her – she is a Queen. I immediately got it. My friend Katie Cavanaugh had the Queen archetype! We talked about my reaction to being downgraded from my own room to a blow up bed and just being able to share this with Katie created the safety I needed.

More importantly, knowing that Katie had the Queen Archetype shifted my relationship with her and I was able to understand and honor how amazing she is and how delighted I am to work with this powerful, intrepid woman!

You may have Queens in your life as well.

Characteristics of the Queen Archetype

Makes sure everything is exactly as it should be
Takes charge
Dominates her court and give orders
Is benevolent and takes care of her subjects
Is dignified, striking and awesome
Has a clear sense of responsibility
Plans and gets things done
Imparts to her subjects what she believes in important
Empowers her subjects to connect to the community and return to her

Shadow side of the Queen

Demanding
Aggressive
Vengeful
Heads will role if they don’t follow the rules

Having realized the nature of the Queen Archetype, I understood even more clearly the value of my friendship and collaborative relationship with Katie Cavanaugh. My main archetype is that of a Spiritual Teacher, but my energy is soft and responsive. When I watched her facilitate the Healer’s Gathering I was awed as many of us are in the presence of her majestic command.

Caroline Myss, a medical intuitive and the author of Sacred Contracts, a book on archetypes, has been my mentor through her workshops and books for nearly 20 years. She also has the Queen Archetype. In fact, I think many of the powerful women I have sought out as teachers share this quality.

By understanding and working with the Queen Archetype you will learn to identify these characteristics in yourself or in others. If you have the Queen archetype, be aware of how you affect others in your life. Your intensity may be misunderstood. Use your powerful persona to influence and guide others. Surround yourself with friends who support your vision and are willing participants in your Queendom!

If you have friends, family or co-workers who have the Queen Archetype, take a look at how you can benefit from their ruling and how you can support yourself and the Queen by this awareness. Share with them what you have learned and find your place in the royal family.

Awareness of the Archetypes can help you heal yourself and access your natural path to move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Katie Cavanaugh is an Intrepid Success Coach and Mentor. You can find more about her at http://katiecavanaugh.com.

The Ugly Duckling

November 20, 2015 by @candesscampbell

“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”
― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

November 1843, Hans Christian Andersen’s story, The Ugly Duckling was published in Copenhagen, Denmark. This amazing fairy tale has been read and re-read by adults and children alike, all over the world.

The story, as you probably know, is about a baby bird raised by a mother duck in a flock of other ducklings. The bird was teased and bullied unmercifully throughout his life, because he looked different and behaved differently. As an adult, the bird sought out and joined a flock of swans finding them to be beautiful birds. Although he expected the same abuse, the swans were open to his joining with them and they accept him. One day this ugly duck saw his reflection in the water and realized he was not an ugly duck at all, but really was a beautiful swan. He found his flock and fit right in. He was transformed.

Common to all of us is the desire to be heard, seen and understood. Many of us can relate to this archetypal story of not fitting in and finding ourselves teased, attacked or excluded. We continued to look for and hoped to find “our people”, our flock or our tribe. In the journey of doing so, we often changed our opinions or beliefs. Sometimes we gave up our voice and became silent, all in an attempt to fit in.

So often I hear someone telling another person what “the truth” is and insist on what they “should” be doing or thinking. Communication becomes about what is right or wrong. Opinions become polarized and those who do not agree with either the loudest voice or the group voice can be intimidated, shamed or alienated.

Over the years, the precious beliefs developed as young people get lost in the mass of voices and one’s self-esteem takes a hit. So often when working with clients, the undercurrent of their situation is a feeling of being unworthy or undeserving. How others have treated them guides their beliefs about themselves.

What would happen if, instead of stating your opinion and telling someone what you think, you asked the person to explain more about what they were saying? Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how your relationships change if you went into conversations with the sole purpose of understanding their point of view. How would your posture change if you were there just to receive, to just hear the story?

I invite you in the month of December, and hopefully throughout the next year, to practice “just listening.”

Now, there will be times to share your opinion and have debates of course, and to enjoy the fun and creativity of a dispute, but let’s change it up a bit. Think about a few people in your life that are important to you. Make a conscious choice to have a couple conversations with them where you just “hold the space” for their musings, for their sharing, for how they see the world. Experience them deeply. Look into their eyes and be present to them. Give them the gift of being heard, seen, and understood. Bring them into your fold and see them as the swan they truly are. Allow your loved ones to be transformed by the incredible generosity of your listening.

Previously published in Live Encounters Magazine

The Queen Archetype

September 16, 2015 by @candesscampbell

The creativity of your subconscious mind not only shows up in dreams, but also shows up as archetypes in your life. Archetypes are overlying patterns that show up in all cultures that are seeded in the psyche. Some examples of archetypes are mother, judge, teacher and healer. When you begin to look at these patterns in your life, you can unleash your creative energy.

“The shadow aspects of our archetypes are fed by our paradoxical relationship to power. We are as intimidated by being empowered as we are by being disempowered.”

– Caroline Myss

Whenever I explore an archetype, it is fun to write about one where I have personal experience. In this case, I am writing about my friend’s archetype.

In addition to focusing on business, we became fast friends. In 2012, she hosted and facilitated the Healer’s Gathering Workshop at the HarmonyHouse in Sisters, Oregon. I was delighted to be invited to be a keynote speaker. I decided to facilitate a DNA Activation with this group of 100 participants. She invited me to come and stay with her in the guest room (which is now called Candess’s room!)

Before the event I felt I needed to meet with Katie and clear what happened for me. I invited Katie to have lunch with Cheyenne, her friend and I so we could talk. The three of us were seated at a patio table as Katie walked in. She was majestic in her presence, carrying herself with confidence and grace. She sported a large smile and introduced herself and the whole ambience changed. Cheyenne said as soon as she saw her – she is a Queen. I immediately got it. My friend Katie Cavanaugh had the Queen archetype! We talked about my reaction to being downgraded from my own room to a blow up bed and just being able to share this with Katie created the safety I needed.

You may have Queens in your life as well.

Characteristics of the Queen Archetype

Makes sure everything is exactly as it should be
Takes charge
Dominates her court and give orders
Is benevolent and takes care of her subjects
Is dignified, striking and awesome
Has a clear sense of responsibility
Plans and gets things done
Imparts to her subjects what she believes in important
Empowers her subjects to connect to the community and return to her

Shadow side of the Queen

Demanding
Aggressive
Vengeful
Heads will role if they don’t follow the rules

Awareness of the Archetypes can help you heal yourself and access your natural path to move toward your Divine Soul purpose.

Join Katie Cavanaugh and I September 19, 2015 for a Live Intuitively: Journal the Wisdom of your Soul Workshop! You can sign up here!

Katie Cavanaugh is an Intrepid Success Coach and Mentor. You can find more about her at http://katiecavanaugh.com.

Candess M. Campbell, PhD a #1 Best-selling Author, Intuitive Mentor and Coach, Speaker, and International Psychic Medium Healer.

https://energymedicinedna.com

Boundaries in Social Media

August 21, 2015 by @candesscampbell

With fall around the corner and back to school ahead, many people find themselves ending the summer fun and look forward to spending time with friends in new environments. The wild fun of music and water sports gives way to intimate groups in indoor venues and making plans for the holidays.

The natural cycle is to expand in the summer time and pull inward in the fall. You move into solitude in your studies or you join book clubs. You volunteer or get back to the gym. Maybe you redecorate and nest. Later as you move into winter, you will begin to ground your energy, grow your roots and reflect within as you enjoy your friends and family over the holidays.

In this information age though, social media pushes forward and you continue to stay connected, make friends on new sites, and continue to expand. At one time you had a natural balance of alone time in the fall. You were able to move inward, reflect, journal and deepen. Now, with social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Periscope, Tinder, and others your energy keeps expanding. You become overwhelmed. With new technology, it’s important to learn new ways of setting boundaries for yourSelf.

As a psychic medium, more often than not, I see clients’ energy as being ungrounded with energy leaks in the third chakra and chaotic energy in the aura. As a therapist, in session, clients share reactions to the posts of others and lose their grounding. They may have seen their girlfriend change their status on Facebook from “in a relationship with” (them) to “single,” or they see photos of their boyfriend with someone else. Too often this whole situation gets played out in public on Facebook or on Twitter.

Clearly in this information age there are new ways of thinking about boundaries. It is easy to mistake your friends (up to 5000 of them on FB) as truly your friends. In your fiery reaction you display your anger and pain publicly and gain support. Then other “friends” show up to criticize you for what you shared. All of this feels normal in the high emotional state that you are in. Sharing that used to happen with your closest friend in private now happens for the world to see.

Later you cool down and this public display of anger and grief turns to shame. It’s important to remember that even though in moments, you can share everything with the world, not everything needs to be shared. Here is some helpful guidelines on setting boundaries.

Collapsed, Rigid and Healthy Boundaries

First ask yourself, are you more likely to allow others to cross your boundaries or do you cross the boundaries of others? Do you find you get too close to people physically and you see them back away? Do you find yourself alone in a corner in a group and not reaching out to others?

Your boundaries change over time and in different situations. It can depend on how you feel at the time. This is a general guideline you can use that includes social media.

Collapsed Boundaries can be identified by:

Sharing too much personal information too soon.
Sharing private information on social sites with people you don’t really know.
Saying yes when you want to say no for fear of rejection.
Doing anything to avoid conflict.
Having a high tolerance for abuse.
Sharing too openly after having a drink.

Rigid Boundaries can be identified by:

Saying no to a request if it will involve close interaction.
Staying so busy you don’t take time for intimate relationships.
Being unable to identify you own feelings, wants or needs.
Making little self-disclosure and holding people at a distance.
Sharing false information so you don’t risk being seen.

Healthy Boundaries can be identified by:

Having the ability to say yes and to say no.
Being able to hear no from others and seek other resources to get your needs met.
You reveal information about yourself gradually and self-disclose appropriately.
You have relationships with shared responsibility for the relationship without blaming.
Sharing in a loving and caring way in social sites without disclosing too much that is either personal or still raw for you.

I have journaled for over 30 years using my journal to vent, as well as to connect with the deeper part of myself. It is also a great place to keep write down dreams and to take notes from my favorite books.

My recommendation is that you use your journal to vent before you begin to share with people you don’t know well or on social media. Life is so much easier once you take the “charge” off a situation.

In the next month I will be publishing my new book Live Intuitively: Activate the Wisdom of your Soul. This book will teach you to read yourSelf intuitively and gives you specific writing prompts called “Soul Stems” to activate your own soul wisdom!

Having read this blog, share your experience:

What are your rules around sharing with people you just meet, with friends and on social networking sites?
What plans do you have to spend some time alone to reconnect with yourself as you move into fall? How do you deepen your relationships with yourself so you don’t get over-expanded, ungrounded and exhausted?
How have you used journaling to clear your mind or prime yourself for your own writing project?

Collaborative Relationships

October 21, 2014 by @candesscampbell

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.

Helen Keller

Katie Cavanaugh & Candess M. Campbell

My word for this year is Relationships. Next year I am focusing on Collaboration. My thoughts are wandering that way already and this addresses both Relationship and Collaboration.

What are the 3 most important aspects of a Collaborative Partner for you?

I had a previous experience that taught me this.

Choose a partner that is organized enough that they not only show up for appointments on time, but are able to have timely emails back and forth that are clear and succinct. My previous partner would go back and forth 5 or 6 times when the issue could have been resolved in one email.

Honesty is a must. The partner needs to be emotionally and mentally able to comprehend so they are able to be honest, with their self and with you. This is not always the case. Sometimes people respond to the “stories in their head” and are not able to hear what you are saying. This can be timely and cumbersome.

Willing to commit to a contract. When you have business collaboration, a contract is important. Conversations you have prior to the contract may not be your final agreement. You need to have it in writing. If there are issues that come up after the contract, then amend or have an addendum to the contract. In my previous dealings, my business partner said I had offered something that was not in the contract. I disagreed. I had insisted on the contract and in my next dealings will be more clear that nothing is binding that is not in the contract.

I look forward to continuing to collaborate with my dear friend, Katie Cavanaugh.

Her wisdom and business coaching has been immense in my life!

Candess M. Campbell, Intuitive Success Mentor

Katie Cavanaugh, Intrepid Success Coach

Unleashed Live!

Give me your feedback on what you find to be important and your experiences!

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October 2014 Astrological Forecast

October 1, 2014 by @candesscampbell

Astrology is assured of recognition from psychology, without further restrictions, because astrology represents the summation of all the psychological knowledge of antiquity.

C.G. Jung

Provided by Lee of http://www.stillwatersastro.com

October 4^th: Mercury stations retrograde in Scorpio. The messenger planet reverses direction as it begins its third and final retrograde cycle of 2014 in the sign of Scorpio at 2 degrees for the next 3 weeks. October 8^th: Total Lunar Eclipse Full Moon in Aries/Libra. The second of two Total Lunar Eclipses in 2014 mirrors the qualities of last April’s Total Lunar Eclipse in Libra/Aries. 2014 is an “initiatory” year of completions and new beginnings with a strong emphasis of planetary aspects in the cardinal signs of Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. Those with cardinal angles or planets near 15 degrees in the signs of Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn will be more affected by this eclipse.

October 23^rd: Partial Solar Eclipse New Moon in Scorpio. The Sun, Moon, and Venus arrive in the sign of Scorpio on the same day to combine their energies within one half of a single degree of longitude in the very first degree of Scorpio at the exact time of a Partial Solar Eclipse in Scorpio. The synergy of the Sun, Moon, and Venus conjoining each other so closely in a Solar Eclipse is a very rare event that could produce fortunate new beginnings for those who consciously sow seeds of new commitments and intentions.

October 25^th: Mercury stations direct in Libra. Mercury steps forward in the relationship sign of Libra at 17 degrees after three weeks in retrograde. Mercury will partner with the Moon’s North Node in Libra to accent détente, fair play, and diplomacy versus hidden agendas during the November 4^th elections in the United States. October 26^th: Mars enters Capricorn. Transiting Mars arrives in the sign of institutional authority forming harmonious aspects to the Sun & Venus in Scorpio, and Neptune in Pisces which augurs well for a Happy Halloween.

http://www.stillwatersastro.com