“The idea in our culture of body solely as sculpture is Wrong. Body is not marble. That is not its purpose. It’s purpose is to protect, contain, support, and fire the spirit and soul within it, to be a repository for memory, to fill us with feeling – that is the supreme psychic nourishment. It is to lift us and propel us, to fill us with the feeling to prove that we exist, that we are here, to…
Not Giving Up!
“It’s probably my job to tell you life isn’t fair, but I figure you already know that. So instead, I’ll tell you that hope is precious, and you’re right not to give up.” ― C.J. Redwine, Defiance
This series of blogs called iwannabeaskinnybitch.combegan July 30, 2014. This has been my journey into health, exercise and weight loss after having a breakthrough in the journal class I was…
Being the Pole – A Relationship Tool
Relationships are fluid and changing all the time. Communication is often a challenge and keeping up with the shifting can be disconcerting. In this video I teach you to “Be the Pole.” It is a great way to stay stable when you have a partner that is either reactive or changing their minds continually. Enjoy!
Relationships – Word for 2014
In the midst of the holidays which are full of fun, family and chaos; it is a good idea to take some quiet time. I know, it is so busy, there are gifts to buy and family to feed and . . .
The idea of the holiday takes over the Spirit of the holiday. What is the Spirit of the holiday for you? Take some time to determine this for yourself. Give voice to your beliefs, even though you may be the only one who is listening. What is obvious about this time of year is letting go of the old and bringing in the new. So what is it about 2013 you want to let go of? What is it from the first time you opened your eyes and awakened to this world until now that doesn’t support you any longer. What do you want to leave behind?
If you believe that what you focus upon increases, what is it that you want to focus on this New Year? Taking some quiet time, even 20 minutes to journal or meditate will make a big difference in your life. If you meditate be sure to jot down some thoughts afterward. Your Higher Self or Guides may share with you some important information.
Choosing a word a year words best for me. Rather than having a list I don’t complete, I like to focus on something I want to increase or bring sacredness to in order to thrive. Before 2014 begins, I image the end of 2014 and the changes I would like to see manifest and then begin the year afresh.
My word for this year is relationships. By the end of 2014 I will have deeper relationships and spend more quality time with those I love. I will understand their needs and how they receive love so that I can be present to them. I will study about relationship and understand commitment, community and connection in a way I have yet to experience.
The process of this of course will be to become aware of my resistance, my hesitation, my busy-ness and my fear. I am ready to develop a more conscious relationship with myself and move beyond the blocks.
Join with me in choosing a word for 2014 to bring in the New Year!
Watch for my blogs in the Ultimate Blog Challenge in January!
Evaluating your Situation!
Into the New Year, most people have taken a look back and reflected on the past year. Some have made resolutions and some just go forward with hope. Rather than making resolutions, I pick one focus for the year, one word to remember and increase in my life.
One year the word was money and I became more responsible in my spending, saving and earnings. That year I increased my income by 25%. I read money books, brought my attention to my habits and envisioned and created abundance.
Last year my focus was on food. I watched “foody” shows on television and regularly added nutritionally healthy foods to my diet. I drank green smoothies and my body glowed from all the enzymes. I increased my awareness on how foods affect my health (and my mood!)
This year my focus is music. I have a Martin 000M and my plan is to learn to play my guitar, listen to a variety of music throughout the year, attend concerts and experience music as a healing force in my life!
Speaking of a healing force in my life. I just published my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.
The first chapter focuses on Evaluating Your Situation. Whether it is emotional or physical pain, there is always an emotional component. I find that when people tend to focus on the past, they suffer from depression and when they focus on the future, it creates anxiety. On my website candesscampbell.com under Books and Self-Healing Tools you will find self-screening tests. One is for depression and the other for anxiety. If you find that you struggle with either of these, getting professional help is important.
Sometimes you live your life day to day without much self-awareness. It is helpful to look at whether or not you are getting your needs met. William Glasser, MD, a psychiatrist wrote a book called Choice Theory. In the book he talked about people having Four Basic Needs. The needs he lists are for 1) Love & Belonging, 2) Power and Worth, 3) Freedom and 4) Fun. These are beyond your need for survival.
Think about your life and what the main need is in your life. In your journal, write down your main need. Then write down friends and family you spend most of your time with. List some activities you engage in on a regular basis. Are you getting your needs met with these friends, family members and your activities?
For example I list as one of my loved ones, my Cairn Terrior/mix Domingo. The needs I get met by Domingo are Love and Belonging and Fun. When I image an oval shape and think about how full I am from my relationship with Domingo, I see the oval being maybe a third full. This means I need more people and activities to get my Love and Belonging and Fun needs met.
When I first did this exercise I listed out my friends. A few of the friends I spent most of my time with did not meet my needs at all. I found one friend met most of my needs. I realized I leaned too much on one friend and needed to create more relationships in my life where I felt more alive, full, and got my needs met. I also realized I needed to let some friends go. With self-awareness, I saw how drained I became after spending time with some friends.
Try this yourself. You may be amazed at how simple changes in your life can shift your emotional for physical pain!
Also, in evaluating your situation, it is important to look at the interrelatedness between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. You can find a Total Behavior Map here to help you. http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-tools/70-2) On this map you can write out in the center what need you want to get met. Write down a situation that has been difficult for you regarding this need. List what you were doing, thinking and feeling. Then write again as if you were thinking something different. If you were thinking ___________, then what would you be doing or feeling?
You are an integrated being of Mind, Body and Spirit. You will notice that when you change your thinking about a situation, your feeling changes as well. You may choose to do something different and immediately your thinking changes and your feeling changes. The key here is you have 100 % control over your doing, 90 % control over your thinking and only 10 % control over your feeling. When you do or think something different – you feel better!
An example is Sarah was waiting for a phone call from Taylor to go out to dinner. (love and belonging and fun) Taylor didn’t call and Sarah thought, “I was stood up.” She started feeling angry and lost energy. Sarah began making up stories in her mind of what happened and worked herself into a frenzy.
An hour later Taylor called and said she was so sorry. She explained that she had witnessed an accident on the freeway and was pulled in by the police to share what she had seen. Taylor said she was so shaken, she didn’t even think about the dinner plans until she calmed down and realized she was hungry. She asked Sarah if she could come over, she needed a friend.
Sarah began to understand (thinking) and she empathized (feeling) with Taylor’s experience. She began cooking (doing) something to share with Taylor and prepared for her friend to arrive.
Can you see how the feelings followed the doing and thinking in this situation? You can write out some situations in your past, some times when you were really upset. Then write out what you could have done or thought differently, identifying how you would feel different.
Use your journal for this exercise and soon you’ll find you can do it quickly in your mind. So much of the emotional pain (which is under the physical pain) is manufactured in your mind. Now, you have a tool to change this!
Another tool is journaling. One situation I share in my book is for several days I found myself having a lot of pain in my shoulders. I left my office and sat down to rest and the pain was extremely disturbing. After about four days of this, I picked up my journal and began writing, “This pain in my shoulders. . .” and continued journaling for 20 minutes. What came up in my writing was a situation with one of my daughters. Once I wrote it out, the pain released immediately and was totally gone. This is a true testimony to how we carry pain in our bodies connected to our emotions!
There is so much more you can find in the book that will help you evaluate where you are and begin to move into self-healing. In February I’ll focus on Finding Your Passion!
12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine – UK
12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine – US
Remembering September 11th!
The media alerts us to remember 9/11 on this 10th anniversary. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones. I remember the day well. Awakened by my alarm, I turned the TV on to bring me gently into the world after a good night sleep. News flashed immediately with the intensity of alert. I saw the twin towers and the smoke. I allowed myself less than a minute of this before I switched it off.
My immediate reaction, instinct I suppose, was to protect myself. I understand that others may have felt safe watching the news and trying to understand. For me, my first thought was this is big, and I knew people would be watching TV and absorbing the fear as if it were poisonous gas. I knew wherever I went and with whomever I spoke, others would be full of anger, fear and pain. I wanted none of it.
Being an energy healer, immediately, I made a decision to have a different experience than the one the media fed. Motivated to holding the space of love and light, I took a couple deep breaths and focused up out of the top of my head into the heavens. I envisioned a golden white Light, what I call the Christ Light. I felt the energy come down through the top of my head into my body and felt the incredible vibration of love illuminating every cell of my body. It felt incredible! I understood that I had control over how I felt during this time of crisis. I also knew that suffering due to this tragedy was not helpful to anyone. There was nothing of value in my being fearful or in pain.
At the time of perceived and real crisis, I chose to be detached from the sensationalism of the media. My awareness was heightened realizing how I could control how I felt and what I experienced. This was a practice of learning to control my feelings rather than having my feelings control me. The mind can be used to control physical pain as well.
When we lose people in a crisis such as this, grief is a natural, healing response. It is important to have clear boundaries though, and to feel your own pain and not take on the pain of others. Holding the space for others healing by being present to them allows them their pain. It it is definitely important to feel your feelings. It is also important to understand that what you choose to focus on is your choice and you can increase your feelings of happiness, gratitude, fear or anger.
On this anniversary of September 11th, choose to feel gratitude for your country. Remember your loved ones, all your loved ones who have passed and hold the space for those who are currently grieving. Take time to focus on the positive and lift someone’s spirit! Be present to others, love, and be happy.
Remember we are one people, more similar than different, all over the world!
Bless your hearts!