Are you still feeling like you’ve been ‘hit in the gut’ by Covid and your life lately is coming apart? I get it! If you’ve read my previous post which was about a year ago, I want to say I am grateful to be back part time! I’m caught between wanting to share about MECFS and be understanding and compassionate about others due to the symptoms of Covid and how it hangs on.
It has been a time for us to pull in, sort out and make big decisions. I’m sure by now you have already done some downsizing, or clearing out. If you or a loved one has been ill, you have probably had to rearrange your life somewhat and also find a way to balance the budget.
Out of the suffering, we often find a way to get through it and to re-create what we want in our lives. What I have noticed most, is that the fear of change or letting go, or disappointing someone can hold you hostage. I remember as I started to spiral downward slowly, I kept holding onto my counseling practice terrified of disappointing my clients. I pushed until I couldn’t anymore and ended up bedridden for about four months. I could barely eat a few bites of apple sauce. All the things I had to do, I couldn’t do. I would faint when I stood up and it hurt all over my body when I stressed. Now I am mostly housebound, but happy and love my home, my yard and the river.
Recently I had been trying to change websites and I can’t say much more because it has been crazy. It has cost me about $10,000 that I didn’t have to spend. A company I had believed in since my first introduction to Brendon Burchard was so full of network marketing hype, It was crazy making. Someone with great skill and whom I trusted deeply and paid well, was apparently on a different journey.
One of the symptoms I have since the ME crash, is extreme ADD. My brain is healing from the injury and it seems rebooting itself. The ADD most often keeps me from going from thought to action or thought to note.
Everything felt like it was coming apart and I actually felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. I cried (a good thing) and allowed myself to go deep into the pain. I reached out to 3 people and my youngest daughter and grandson came over and ‘babysat’ me for awhile. I realized that my identity and self-esteem were connected to my healing work.
Hitting that bottom helped me realize this is my time to reassess what I want and do what I haven’t been able to do. Having had two children by age 18, and working since I was 15, it was time to make changes.
So far, the biggest change has been thinking about what I would do if I didn’t have to work. Well, of course, what I want to do is go to the 400 homeless people here in Spokane and see who is interested in learning Reiki. I would teach them so they could heal themselves and others. Now, occasionally (I get out about 2x a month) I sit with a homeless person and chat. Other than that, I am working on my co-dependency with the birds, Lucy the neighborhood turkey, or the bevy of deer that own the valley.
Take a minute to collect your journal and treat yourself to an appetizing beverage. Image yourself alone, with no responsibility. Where would you live? Would you work? etc. Set the timer and write for 10 or more minutes. Take a moment to breathe and then read your writing. Whether the Nay-Sayer showed up in your writing or in your head, that part of you that squashes your dreams and sabotages your joy, has got to be tamed. Notice your Nay-Sayer and challenge it in your writing. Whatever it says that is not in your best experience – call it out and stand up for yourself!
Chakra Three is about Power and Vitality! With this information you can balance yourself and empower others.
So, if you are my friend, I apologize for not getting back or connecting at all for years. I have had varied energy and have needed to learn to pace. I think of you and want to spend time together!
If you have tried to reach me for services, I am so sorry. I truly want to work with you. At this time, I need to find someone to help me set up my site with a cart, paypal, emails, calendly, etc.
Until then, so unlike the Candess who was perfect, please just email me at ccspokane@gmail.com and tell me what you would like, a reading, a DNA activation, etc. If the cart is working great! If not, I’ll send you a paypal link and we can schedule.
It feels so good to be connecting, even a little at a time. Hold your loved ones. Listen to them. You don’t have to fix them, but you can ask what they need. Be gentle with yourself.
Please share with me at the end of this blog so I know you are out there!
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