What are Two Important Tools you have at all times?
The ability to Say Yes and to Say No!
There are many reasons you go on auto-pilot with an answer.
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You are so busy you don’t think before you speak.
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You learned from your parents to always say Yes or No.
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You are a people pleaser and Yes is an easy answer, even though what you are agreeing to may be difficult.
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You are overwhelmed and No is quick and simple.
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Too often in decision making, you are on auto-pilot. This keeps you from using your ability to reason and more importantly, to listen to your intuition.
On any given day you have many opportunities to make Yes and No decisions. Today I’d like to invite you to become more conscious, more deliberate about your decisions.
It helps to have a notepad or a journal with you.
Photo by Jess Watters
When you are asked to do something, STOP yourself from answering automatically.
You may respond like this.
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Interesting, I’ll have to think about it.
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Let me ponder that and I’ll let you know.
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Great idea. Let me sleep on it.
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Thanks for asking. I’ll take some time to see if it is right for me.
Yes! This is excellent guidance for improving your life and well-being. I know many people who can’t say no. They seem to subconsciously feel that saying no is rude. And, that gets them in some bad situations. Years ago, I trained myself to incorporate a ‘maybe’ phrase much like the ones you have listed above. It was incredibly helpful.
Happy to hear that Meghan. We need to support each other in setting limits. With so much stimulation today, we end up stressed and it shows up in our health. I see in your blogs how empowering you are of others!
I love this! When you don’t say no to things you don’t want to do, you have less time and energy for the things you want to say yes to. I would also say: If you want to say no, don’t quibble. Say you’ll think about it only if you are really considering it. Otherwise, do yourself and the other person a favor and say no right away. Let the other person move on.
That is so true Jackie. When we are on automatic pilot with our answer, we miss out on so much!
Informative article! “Let me ponder” is one of my favorite phrases. Funny, but often my gut is telling NO, but upon pondering it does become a YES. So, I suppose it can work both ways.
Interesting Robin. I wonder if your gut is always in the response to others and with discernment you get more honest with yourself. Hmm. . .
Oh Candess, I was for so many years one of those people who spent their days doing things I didn’t want to because I couldn’t manage to say no. I still find it difficult at times but have learned that excellent technique of postponing an answer until I really think it through. This has made so much difference in my life.
So happy you have this down Tamuria. When I was a young mom, my answer was always NO to my kids. Then I had a chance to think about it and changed to yes. It was an automatic response from being overwhelmed by doing too much. My kids as resourceful as they were, gave me some time and came back asking differently and at a better time. 🙂
GREAT reflections on what to say instead of the automatic YES or NO. When my husband and I parented our teenagers, they always seemed to know the “right” time to ask us for things we’d normally refuse.
After a few “meetings,” Bernard and I agreed that we’d respond with “Let me think about it and I’ll come back to you on this.” Of course the kids were unhappy (mostly at me because they knew I was behind this new strategy) and tried even harder to get us to answer immediately.
So we told them, if I have to give you an immediate answer, it will be NO! If you are willing to let us think about it and have a conversation about the details, we will give it consideration.
It has become our way of dealing with many decisions and created a better relationship between all of us.
Fantastic Claudette! It seems empowering yourself with thinking first empowered your kids as well! I used to say No automatically to my kids and later wondered why. I think it was the single mom syndrome. Now I like to think about it before I answer.