In my niche, there are only a few people I know that have not seen the film The Secret, which came out in 2006. If you have not seen it, I am sure you’ve seen shows or videos online about manifesting.
“It isn’t working!” exclaim many of my clients! Even when they know what they want to create, when they have clarified every detail, and even created a vision board, they wait and nothing happens. In deeper exploration of this, I realized a problem.
What happens when you get clear on what you want? Are you excited and you match the energy of others who are successful? And then . . . You begin to doubt! All of the sudden, a voice within raises its ugly head saying, “You can’t do this.” You may think others can do it but not you or that you are doing it wrong. You may think you are not doing it long enough, hard enough, right enough. Then all the questions come up. What are you going to do with . . . What would you do about . . . What will others think? You’ll have to change everything; where you live, how you dress, where you go, your friends. . . it all hits at once.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Open your arms and heart and allow the Universe to gift you with your greatest desires!” quote=”Open your arms and heart and allow the Universe to gift you with your greatest desires!”]
What do others do who are successful? Well, a couple of things. One is they “do the work” and get underneath the issues that create this fear, increase their self-esteem, find support in groups of people who are similar, or they feel the fear they experience and do it anyway.
One way to do the work is to write out what you hear yourself saying and challenge it! An example from my own life is when I started filming the Reality TV Show for Soul Ltd. My biggest fear was what do I wear? If you are reading this I am offering a free download of my Abundance mp3. You can find it under products and use the coupon code 2015AbundanceGift. Enjoy! My mantra was I would live in my pajamas if I could. I boasted that I defended my dissertation with my adviser and others from the University over the Internet wearing my pajama bottoms. I did dress professional from the waste up!
What I told myself to calm my fears was, “I will be who I am. I love being comfortable and relaxed.” For 95% of the time, I can be in my pajamas or wear comfortable clothing. I can go make-up free and just be! I realized it was only for a small fraction of time I need to prepare for the camera. Only a small percentage of time I needed to be “on!” Once I understood this, I took a deep breath and realized there could be a million reasons I could make up not to take the next step. This was only one excuse. Once I understood that I do have control over my thoughts and actions, I was relieved.
[clickToTweet tweet=”You only have to learn to receive! ” quote=”You only have to learn to receive! “]
The second way to deal with this fear is to feel it and do it anyway. Now many of us have heard this before, but how do you do it? What I have learned to do when I felt fear is to sit down and close my eyes. I focused on my breath and relaxed myself. Then I brought my attention up out of my crown chakra at the top of my head up into the heavens. From there I looked down at myself and saw that I was “running fear” in my body. It was easy to see from above that my body had some responses that were irrational. I felt compassion for myself and understood it was just a physiological and emotional response. I noticed what I was feeling and allowed myself to witness myself from above. This fear is similar to when someone comes up from behind you and startles you or how you react immediately to a bee landing on you or when you see a spider. This is only a quick reaction. Soon it will pass.
So to recap – When you are creating a goal in your life, or when you are setting an important intention, negative self-talk may appear.
- Write out what you hear yourself saying and challenge it. It is important to write it out because you have more control over your thinking when you write.
- Sit down and close your eyes. Focus on your breath and relax. Bring your attention up out of your crown chakra at the top of your head up into the heavens. Look down at yourself and see yourself. From this distance you see that you are fearful or “running fear” in your body. Send compassion to yourself and allow yourself to be comfortable with the fear. You CAN create in your life what you desire the most!
You can do it!
Now you only have to learn to receive!
Wonderful advice in this Candess. For me, writing it down really helps. I recently went through this when reopening my arts and crafts school. All the indications were that I should do this and I even felt the Universe was giving me signals that this was the right thing to do. Once I started the process, the fear took hold and despite ongoing signs of encouragement, the fear threatened to stop me in my tracks. I’m so grateful I didn’t let it. My fears turned out to be totally unjustified.
Tamuria I find once we identify the underlying belief it really helps. So happy you followed your guidance!
Lovely, Candess! I appreciate that you writing about your own life experience, as it is helpful for others to hear it from a personal perspective. After “The Secret” came out, I remember reading a brilliant column from the founders of the Transformational Arts College here in Toronto and they talked about how people were misunderstanding the “Law of Attraction”, that on its own it wasn’t enough. They talked about the Law of Karma and the Law of Transformation, as both being integral as a compliment to the Law of Attraction. It is still one of my favourite articles…”Going Beyond The Secret”. It really helped clarify why on its own, the Law of Attraction may not always manifest as we desire. Thanks for your insights…doing the work is always the key!
It is great to hear from others who are mastering this concept Beverley. One of the next blogs I will write will incorporate some of the manifesting teachings of Abraham Hicks which I love too!
Thanks Candess. I read the book but didn’t see the movie. People who read (or watch) The Secret, seem to be looking for answers that they can’t find elsewhere. I think that in itself is progress and an accomplishment. I’m from the feeling that you do the work and you get what you’re meant to have. Sometimes more than I could dream and other times…different than what I expected, but always better.
I remember having someone invite me to see a viewing of The Secret. From my esoteric training, I knew that there were other laws involved as well, so I was a little dismayed that so much emphasis was being directed only at the law of attraction. I’ve come to believe that I don’t think they were ready to handle the deeper truths at the same time and The Secret was a way to open the door to the path of raising consciousness. I’m all for letting the Universe sending me what I need. Today, it sent me the perfect dustpan and planter tub. It’s the easiest fulfillment program I’ve ever used.
I love it when we get that the Universe is universal. We not only attract money and relationships, but a dustpan too! I think I’ll ask for a housekeeper!
Yes those pesky doubts can get in the way if we let them. The tip that works best for me is from Abraham-Hicks. “Everything is working out for me”. I say thus often when the doubts creep in. It does the job
Yes, love the way Abraham Hicks puts it. I also like this quote of theirs. “That is why we teach meditation. Because it’s easier to have ‘no thought’ than the change negative thoughts.”
Great advice, Candess. There is so much power in naming our thoughts and beliefs – it enables us to choose them, or not, on a conscious level. And it is so important to manifesting our desires!
Candess, your article is so spot on! I watched the “Secret” when it first came out and was already practicing the Law of Attraction. Your point about getting to the heart of the matter about self-worth and such is paramount for LOA to work. We MUST BELIEVE we are WORTHY of ‘it’ and that we DESERVE ‘it’. Forgiveness work is so incredibly important, too. I’ve followed Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer and many others over the years and have found all views fascinating. Good stuff!
It is that unworthiness that is the hardest to shift Tandy. When I did the second week of the Landmark Forum in the mid 1990s I really realized that. There seemed to be unworthiness or undeserving beliefs in everyone in the group. I also see that with clients. If we could only see our beauty inside and out as others see us!
I first heard of the Law of Attraction in 2005 by a best selling author on the subject Michael Losier. I became so intrigued by what I heard that I flew out of state to attend his seminar the next day. One thing led to another and I ended up working with Michael on planning seminars and we became the best of friends and he even flew me to visit him in Victoria, BC. I also started groups on Law of Attraction in my home in Phoenix that were every other week for 3 years. Many, many people came and we had the best of times, fruitful conversations, watched the Secret and many other related films, did practices to integrate, including those from Abraham-Hicks. I became a certified Law of Attraction trainer and incorporated it into my coaching practice. With all that said, I do not consider myself perfect in the process all the time. However, I absolutely believe it works that is not really the question, in my opinion. It is how to make it work for you and to also understand it is not the only law of the universe in play. I have found that letting go practices and meditation help tremendously. You definitely must know what you want and how you want to feel, feelings are magnetic.
I enjoyed reading your journey, pajama story and how you have found what works for you.
What an amazing experience you must have had and facilitated for others Teresa! Thanks for sharing your story.
Love the idea of giving oneself the right to receive compassion. We cannot be too hard on ourselves. We can just acknowledge and move on.
True, often we get a lot of these thoughts when trying or wanting to do something new, so these are good tips for how to focus.